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Dying, Death, The Dead, Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship

snake

Dying, Death, The Dead, Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship

Unread post by snake » Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:47 pm

I'm cleaning up and reorganizing my ancestor altar and I'd like to get new candles for everyone.

I've been using plain black or purple novena candles, but I'd like to find something more attractive and interesting.

I also have pictures, memorial items, and offerings of favorite alcoholic drinks on my altar.

What sort of candles would be good for my ancestor altar?

What other items or offerings would be good to include?

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Re: Ancestors, The Dead, and The Graveyard Questions and Answers

Unread post by Miss Bri » Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:08 pm

Many folks like red candles for ancestor altars to honor the blood ties between yourself and your ancestors.

I always have offerings of flowers on my ancestor altar, fresh, faux, or dried are all acceptable.

In New Mexico where I lived for several years, silk or paper flowers were used extensively for both offerings to Saints and ancestors.

I often make offerings of incense, candy, and coffee. And of course, a glass of clean water on the altar for them.

If you have graveyard dirt from some of their graves you can also place that on the altar.

My husband has his grandmother's pocket new testament on our altar too.

take care,
Bri
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Literarylioness

Re: Ancestors, The Dead, and The Graveyard Questions and Answers

Unread post by Literarylioness » Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:30 pm

I only use white candles on my Ancestor Altar and they are beeswax candles from the church I was baptized in. I put holy water from that same church on my ancestor altar too. Most of my maternal line was baptized there.

I also have graveyard dirt from most of my ancestors' graves in a clear glass bowl with shells from France and Portugal.

What is your ethnic make-up? I am of French/German/Portuguese/Native American blood, so I have an Eiffel tower, a Bavarian Castle, and a Portuguese schooner on my Ancestor altar with statues of St. Anthony (he was a Portege) and St. Thérésé (she was a French nun) and my maternal grandmother's rosary beads. I just purchased a Native American chief to put on my altar to represent my California Native American Blood.

Your ancestor altar reflects your heritage.

Mary

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Re: Ancestors, The Dead, and The Graveyard Questions and Answers

Unread post by catherineyronwode » Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:18 pm

How a person arrays or dresses an ancestor altar -- and in fact a person's entire relationship to ancestors -- will always be a function of one's religious, cultural, or magical traditions, combined with one's personal experiences, as integrated within those traditions. I come out of the Spiritualist Church tradition, so i use white candles or beeswax candles for ancestors, as i was taught.

Since you asked for suggestions, here are the candles of this broad and general category that we stock in our shop:

$5.00 CAN-BEE-TA10 10 inch Taper Beeswax Candle, pair
$0.45 CAN-401-WHIT 4" Black Cat brand Altar Candle, White
$4.50 CAN-412-WHIT 4" Black Cat brand Altar Candles, Dozen White
$0.80 CAN-601-WHIT 6" Black Cat Brand Offertory Candle, White
$8.00 CAN-612-WHIT 6" Black Cat Brand Offertory Candles, Dozen White
$5.00 CAN-901-WHIT 9" Black Cat Brand Jumbo Candle, White
$50.00 CAN-912-WHIT 9" Black Cat Brand Jumbo Candles, Dozen White
$6.00 CAN-FIG-CRWH Crucifix (Cross & Keys) Candle, White
$6.00 CAN-FIG-SKWH Skull and Crossbones Candle, White
$9.00 CAN-GLS-BLES Blessing glass vigil candle, fixed 8" tall; white wax
$9.00 CAN-GLP-WHIT Plain White No Label glass vigil candle, fixed 8" tall
$5.00 CAN-PUL-WHIT Pull-Out Candle, White, 7 inches tall
$0.25 CAN-TEA-WH01 Tea Light Candle, White 1" inch tall, 2 1/4" diameter.
$2.50 CAN-TEA-WH12 Tea Light Candles, Dozen White 1" inch tall, 2 1/4" diameter.
$0.80 CAN-V01-WHIT Votive Light Candle, White
$8.00 CAN-V12-WHIT Votive Light Candle, Dozen White
catherine yronwode

snake

Re: Candles for Ancestor Veneration

Unread post by snake » Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:31 pm

Oo! Maybe I'll try some skull candles. My very Catholic Polish grandmother seems to like religious icons, but doesn't really like the Spanish ones I get here in California.

In talking with my ancestors, the women all seemed to request purple candles and the men all wanted black. I'm not sure why.

I remember that my mother always put out white taper candles, but never lit them.

My ancestors are a very American mix: Irish, Cherokee, Polish, Ozark, Appalachian, Baptist, Catholic, Spiritualist, Mormon, Brit Trad witches, and other things that my family won't talk about. I also have my dead boyfriend up there and my friend's Guatemalan mother on the altar. It seems like most of them are happy to get any kind of attention.

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to collect graveyard dirt from some of their graves, but everyone is buried back east.

J Simulcik

Re: Candles for Ancestor Veneration

Unread post by J Simulcik » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:25 am

As has already been said here, most ancestor altars use white, or sometimes red, candles. If your ancestors have asked for something else, then I would say to of course use that. Purple and black are associated with the dead in some cultures, but from your post it does not seem that you are from any of them.

Graveyard dirt can provide a very strong link to one's ancestors; if feasible, you might plan a trip to visit their graves and do some cleanup-- ask them! :D

suzyparker

Spell to Recall Memories of a Past Life

Unread post by suzyparker » Fri Jul 03, 2009 4:00 pm

Hello, I am interested in recalling memories of a past life .

Any suggestions of spells/roots/etc that would help me conjure up these memories would be great appreciated.

SP

Literarylioness

Re: Spell to Recall Memories of a Past Life

Unread post by Literarylioness » Fri Jul 10, 2009 5:45 am

suzyparker wrote:Hello, I am interested in recalling memories of a past life .

Any suggestions of spells/roots/etc that would help me conjure up these memories would be great appreciated.

SP



I would do a psychic vision spell for that, but understand Hoodoo does not deal with past lives too much. The majority of Hoodoo was practiced by Protestant Christians who do not believe in reincarnation.

Mary

suzyparker

Re: Spell to Recall Memories of a Past Life

Unread post by suzyparker » Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:44 pm

Thanks! I have the psychic vision oil/candle and will use them to meditate. Also, I bought the herbs used to burn as incense to encourage dreams of the dead.

suzyparker

Ancestors, The Dead, and The Graveyard Questions and Answers

Unread post by suzyparker » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:15 am

Is there a vigil candle you can light to send love to someone who has died? Not a candle to bless them godspeed from purgatory or a fast transition, etc. but something to let someone who has passed on know that you still think of them and love them as much as when they were with you?

Thanks in advance.

Turnsteel

Re: To Send Love to the Dead

Unread post by Turnsteel » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:25 am

Why not set up an ancestor altar? In any case you can simply burn a white candle for them, in front of their photo if you have one. You can dress it with Holy Oil if you have it but a simple candle is fine.

suzyparker

Re: To Send Love to the Dead

Unread post by suzyparker » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:36 am

Thanks Hail.. your answers always are spot on!

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Re: To Send Love to the Dead

Unread post by robynrawr » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:29 pm

I agree with HailDiscordia. An ancestor altar is a very rewarding, warming thing to have around.

Something I like to do is to just go to my loved one's grave and light a white tea light while talking to them and spending time with them.

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Re: To Send Love to the Dead

Unread post by Jinglepop » Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:08 am

In my homeland we burn things specially blessed for the dead person to receive. All made of paper, from clothing, little houses and "Hell Money." (I'm Oriental)

Along with the white candle, I could try burning a letter.

Our loved ones, even when no longer on this Earth we still love...

finey

Contacting the dead

Unread post by finey » Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:23 pm

Suppose I want to talk to someone who is deceased but we are not related and we don't know each other (a dead celeb) -- is this possible?

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Re: Contacting the dead

Unread post by Devi Spring » Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:52 am

Well, finey, you'd have to have some natural mediumistic or necromantic abilities - or seek out someone who does.

I suggest that if it's a line you'd like to work on, that you get Martin Coleman's book "Communing with the Spirits" and start working systematically through it. The exercises in the first several chapters should give you an idea of whether or not you are cut out for that kind of work.
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IBMagnet

Re: Candles for Ancestor Veneration

Unread post by IBMagnet » Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:03 pm

i have never heard of "ancestor veneration" by that name, but my grandma gives money to the church to pray for her mother and husband. maybe this is what she is doing in a way.

i am far removed from that culture. How would ancestor veneration benefit me to begin now?

Literarylioness

Re: Candles for Ancestor Veneration

Unread post by Literarylioness » Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:08 pm

IBMagnet, ancestor veneration helps at any level. It makes your life run smoother. You can set out pictures of your deceased relatives. That would be your grandfather, great-grandparents, etc, a bowl of water, and a white candle. Do a ritual for them monthly at ask them to help you in this life. Whatever it is that you need.

Mary

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Re: Candles for Ancestor Veneration

Unread post by Miss Bri » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:32 am

IBMagnet, if you come from a culture(s) that has a friendly relationship with their dead then ancestor veneration will most likely feel natural and familiar to you. However, if you come from a culture(s) that has what some call an "eerie" relationship with their departed then working with ancestors and spirits may not be your cup of tea.

As Literarylioness said, it can really assist you in life, but I have also seen it create more problems for people than they were ready to handle, so approach the work with the respect and attention it deserves and ask yourself if its work that you personally could feel comfortable doing.

good luck,
Bri
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IBMagnet

Re: Candles for Ancestor Veneration

Unread post by IBMagnet » Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:44 pm

As Literarylioness said, it can really assist you in life, but I have also seen it create more problems for people than they were ready to handle

That is what I am afraid of. I have a fright of dead people. Most of spiritual work is done using spirit as I am beginning to understand it. I don't mind that so much anymore since I have a goal and a set expectation. With family, things always take a complicated turn. I don't know if I am comfortable bringing dead relatives in this volatile mix...Guess it is something to think about. My culture, had I one, would be comfortable with it. It is just not something my immediate family has shown interest in.

lachina

Ancestors, The Dead, and The Graveyard Questions and Answers

Unread post by lachina » Sat Jan 23, 2010 6:10 pm

I have been advised over and over to work with my ancestors. i'm all for it and i did receive a response on who it was that would work with me....... but i just can't leave it alone. my grandmother was very pentecostal when she was alive. :roll: i was too up until last year, and i know that when she was alive she would have rather lost me than know that i practice anything like this.

i feel and i heard her call my name when i called upon my ancestors. we got along in life but also had our ups and downs, she was easily influenced by my aunt and could become very nasty to me at times.

my question is; should i trust this feeling? it really saddens me sometimes some of the things she said to me, i have let it go, but this brings it back in one way or another.

maby im reading too much into this, and the departed don't care about that stuff anymore.

any input would be appreciated.

Turnsteel

Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by Turnsteel » Sat Jan 23, 2010 6:27 pm

Do, or have done, a divination. The dead can and often do change, so just because she wouldn't have approved of you working a form of christian folk magic in life, doesn't mean she hasn't changed her views on a few things.

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Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by jwmcclin » Sat Jan 23, 2010 6:30 pm

I agree with HailDiscordia. Another thought is that sometimes they remain as they were in life. Sometimes it is because of the way they passed from this life.
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Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by ConjureMan Ali » Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:20 pm

Remember also that people who disapprove of magick in this life find that its a great connection to the living once they pass on. I think Martin Coleman mentions in his book that no matter what their religious beliefs were in life, spirits realize that it does them little good to be dogmatic once they are dead and only nominally hold on to their beliefs. Plus, dogmatic stances like being anti-magick, or otherwise are a result of insecurity which one will loose if you're dead ;-). Do a divination, trust your feelings. I'm sure your ancestors are more interested in getting in contact with you and dont care how you go about it.
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lachina

Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by lachina » Sun Jan 24, 2010 3:59 am

Thank you for your responses. I've only been doing this for the last 6 months or so. I love it, I actually think I've found my true calling. Conjure comes to easy to me, the results I get frm candle burning are truly amazing. I will trust my instincts I was just some what confused but I'm sure if they are on the other side and they choose to cantact me it's for a reasonp

suzyparker

To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by suzyparker » Sun Jan 24, 2010 4:57 pm

I am a twin, my sister was stillborn. Our birthday is just around the corner and although I think of her very often, I think of her ALOT around this time of the year. I would like to burn a candle to send love and affection to her and let her know how much I love her, and to let her know I feel her spirit communicating with me. As I have always envisioned her as a perpetual toddler for some reason (a kind, innocent soul) can anyone suggest the appropriate candle or oil I should use? A Blessing candle, or perhaps a pink one, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to all.

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Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:24 pm

I really like that you are letting your sister know that she still lives within you, and that you think about her often. I would search some threads about ancestors for more ideas. However, I would perhaps build a small altar to her, and if you can get some graveyard dirt if that is available to you, and place it on the altar. I would gather up some flowers that resonate well with you and that you think she would like. As for the candle, I would work with some blessing oil, or some spirit guide oil. I would get a candle that you think is her favorite color or you could just use white. I would just speak with her and tell her how much you love her. Perhaps you can get a piece of jewelry that reminds you of her, and wear it so that she knows she is always connected to you.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
Thank you St. Peter for opening the gates&roads!

suzyparker

Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by suzyparker » Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:28 pm

StarsintheSky,

Thank you for the advice on the altar.. I'm going to do that. I don't really think of her as an "ancestor" since we were actually one egg that divided.. I think of her more as part of myself. But, I will do an altar to her and yes, I visit her grave often and I will get some of her dirt and put that in a bowl with flowers and a candle. Thank you for the jewelry idea, too.. it would be wonderful to have something to wear that would allow me to have her close with me.

Thank you again for your wonderful suggestions.

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Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:35 pm

You are welcome! As for the ancestor recommendation, techinically she is an ancestor,however, I meant that you could get some more ideas for those threads, and tweak them to your liking. But I think that you can show your appreciation through those suggestions above, and you can give her food she might like and other treats.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
Thank you St. Peter for opening the gates&roads!

suzyparker

Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by suzyparker » Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:39 pm

Stars, here's a question. how can I give her treats? I always see comments about giving treats to the Saints and I'm sure as I imagine her to be (a small child), she would love that.. but what is the ritual to giving treats?

I always make sure there is a stuffed animal, flowers, balloon at her grave, but how I could I offer her treats?

Thanks

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Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Sun Jan 24, 2010 6:27 pm

Well, I would recommend tasting anything you give her. Im not sure what the difficulty that you find it giving her treats. But I mean anything you might like that you think she might like is what you can give her. But just go with your instincts here. Twins have a bond that no one can understand,so whatever you think would be best for her is what I would give her.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
Thank you St. Peter for opening the gates&roads!

Turnsteel

Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by Turnsteel » Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:02 pm

suzyparker wrote:Stars, here's a question. how can I give her treats? I always see comments about giving treats to the Saints and I'm sure as I imagine her to be (a small child), she would love that.. but what is the ritual to giving treats?

I always make sure there is a stuffed animal, flowers, balloon at her grave, but how I could I offer her treats?

Thanks


Put candy or small toys on the altar you make for her. One thing I think you might be able to make use of comes from Asian customs. The concept of Asian hell money is rather well know, but whats less know is hell or after life gifts. They are pieces of paper with very pretty drawings of gifts for those that have pasted on,everything from cars to designers cloths. You might be able to find them in China town, but you can make them just as easy. Draw,paint, Collage , any of these modality's can be used to make an image of something beautiful that you feel she would want. The you burn it with prayer and either scatter the ash, leave it at her grave, or place them on your altar.

I hope that helps :)

Literarylioness

Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by Literarylioness » Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:57 pm

I am a firm believer in ancestor reverence. I think they are a wonderful resource and can do amazing things for us. My maternal grandmother, who raised me, was and is very anti-magic. She has been dead for nearly 24 years and she still does not approve, but she does love me and still guides me. It is true, some of the dead do not change once they die.

I do a simple service for them. I put out water, a white candle, their pictures, and their favorite foods. All on a white cloth on the floor of my walk-in closet. Their permanent altar is in my laundry room. I just talk to them and tell them what I need. They are very responsive to me. I do a service for them once a month and on their birth and death days.

I take their offerings to their respective graves and that is it.

Mary

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Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by ConjureMan Ali » Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:26 pm

Definately want to get some graveyard dirt if you can as this can help you build a great connection to her. Building an altar is a great idea as well. Light a white candle anointed with Blessing oil and circle it in powdered sugar (keep it away from the ants), herbs like Angelica and Althea root are also great for this type of work. Pray blessings upon her, when you feel her attention on you place your treats on a platter next to her candle and tell her that it is an offering for her and a sign of your love. Don't worry, she'll hear you.
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Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by ConjureMan Ali » Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:28 pm

Don't be afraid to approach your ancestors. If they are willing to work with you and your magical stance they'll let you know. If they want nothing to do with your practice, they'll let you know. You have nothing to be loose. Give your offerings, build your relationship, and go for it.
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Hoodoo Girl

Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by Hoodoo Girl » Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:42 pm

I find this very interesting. I always thought that your loved ones would be there to serve as guiders.

Before I began to explore hoodoo, I received a reading by a woman (who was actually a client of mine) who visited my home for services and she mentioned to me that she felt a strong presence of a young man in my home around the age of 25 who recently passed. I had no idea that she was a reader when she told me this information, but what shocked me was the accuracy of her vision. My younger cousin who was more like a brother to me had recently passed and we were very close and he lived with me for a while undergoing chemotherapy.

The reader advised me not to keep his pictures out or any links to him. I felt uneasy about this because he promised me before dying that he would watch over me and I had felt as if he had attempted to make contact with me several times since his departure.

Needless to say I ignored this woman's advice and I never disposed of his belongings. I will takethe advice from this thread and attempt to speak to my ancestors. I appreciate the encouragement.

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Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by CopperFox » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:01 am

Hoodoo Girl,

It is entirely possible that your cousin simply didn't like your client, hence her "off" feeling about him. YOU know best how your cousin felt about you. Unless something has happened to lend credence to her advice, I would not take it as gospel. Even a good reader can make a bad call.

Michelle
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Hoodoo Girl

Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by Hoodoo Girl » Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:27 am

CopperFox, I think you are right. Sometimes when you are new to certain things and your emotions are in play it makes it difficult to see things clearly.

Nathaniel

Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by Nathaniel » Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:38 pm

hi everyone. I was wondering what would one do if he/she set up an Ancestor alter and worked very closely with the Ancestors and then found out that some grandparents or great grandparents that were on the alter were not really your blood relatives but people who adopted your parents or grandparents as their own.


or


What if you could not find out who your real blood relatives really were cause the old heads have died out or no one simply knew or maybe the records are lost or destroyed? Don't you have a strong psychic line to your family even though you might not be blood related anyway?

i'm starting to suspect this in my own family. But people were so hush hush back in those days. It's going to be hard finding out the truth.


thanks all

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Re: Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by jwmcclin » Mon Jan 25, 2010 2:11 pm

What exactly or you asking Nathaniel? Can you work with the persons that raised you even though they were not your 'blood' relations? or help in finding the persons who are your blood relatives? If you are asking if you can work with the persons who raised you even if they were not blood ties there, the answer is yes because they protected and cared for you right?
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Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by CopperFox » Mon Jan 25, 2010 2:36 pm

Hoodoo Girl,

Something else to keep in mind, too, is that the newly deceased (my opinion) seem to manifest themselves in intense and alarming ways at times. I lost both my parents in the summer of 2001, within a 6 week span. I was wild with grief and wanted nothing more than to be able to contact them. I got my first contact that winter from my mom and the experience was horrifying, even though I really wanted any kind of communication. A few months later my husband came down the hall, all ashy and stuttering, and said, "I think your mom wants to talk to you..." She had woken him from a nap in a startling way, with good reason, we later found.

Eventually, I was able to reach out to her and tell her I knew she wasn't meaning to be scary and that I still wanted her with me. The funny thing was, in life she had a very humble, quiet demeanor. We came to the conclusion her love of horror novels had flavored her idea of how to go about getting our attentions. (Funny but true, folks.) Her means of reaching out to us became more subtle. Now she makes herself known with the soft scent of lavender and sun-warmed soil (she was a gardener.) Sometimes we smell tobacco smoke; no one in the home smokes, but both my parents were smokers. (Even though I inherited the house, it's still theirs, so I can't stop them...) My dad had a way of clucking his tongue before he would speak and I hear him sometimes. It's just good to know they are here with us, still.

In time, you may be lucky enough to sense your cousin's presence in a comforting way, such as dreaming of talking with him. I truly believe it is easiest for the dead to speak to us in our dreams. And a wise person will listen to what they have to say.

Take care,

Michelle
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I will lift mine eyes up to the mountains, from whence comes my strength...
Psalm 121

suzyparker

Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by suzyparker » Mon Jan 25, 2010 3:22 pm

Thanks to all of you for your suggestions. I did some research and see that ancestors are anyone we know and love who have passed.. not just souls from long long ago, so thanks to StarsintheSky7 for clearing that up.

Here's my question and it may be silly.. if I put treats out for her on her altar.. should I just leave them in a bowl until my dog or cat snitches them or should I take pound cake and scatter it on her grave for the birds? I'm just not sure how to leave the treats out for her.

Thanks again for all of your help in helping me tell her how much I love her.. I feel her love often and want to reciprocate.

Nathaniel

Re: Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by Nathaniel » Mon Jan 25, 2010 3:35 pm

yes, that is what i was asking. thanks! the people that thought were blood kin might not be. but i have been working with them on my Ancestor Alter for 4 or 5 years. I am just finding out that they my not be my blood relatives.

thanks

lachina

Re: working with ancestors

Unread post by lachina » Mon Jan 25, 2010 4:14 pm

thank you all so much, i will definately set up my altar for them tonight. i will let everyone how it goes

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Re: Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by CopperFox » Mon Jan 25, 2010 4:38 pm

Nathaniel --

Everyone has two families -- the ones we're born with and those we find on our own. The hillbilly phrase is "kith & kin," or "dear friends and blood relations."

Michelle
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Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:26 pm

Ive been taught that you should scatter the pound cake or whatever back into the earth. So your idea is great, and you should go with that.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
Thank you St. Peter for opening the gates&roads!

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starsinthesky7
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Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:32 pm

Also Mary ("Literarylioness") confirms taking the offerings to their grave.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
Thank you St. Peter for opening the gates&roads!

faith2008

Work with the Dying and Dead, Ancestor Work, Mediumship

Unread post by faith2008 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:44 pm

I've been reading up on the ancestor threads but I haven't seen anything quite like my situation so I'm hoping someone can advise me.

I haven't tried contacting any of my ancestors yet. I am trying to do some research on my great grandmother. She was a cherokee and I would like to work with her eventually if she is willing.

My question though is something entirely different.

I had a really good friend that passed away in 1998. We were very close. Shortly after his death a friend of mine and I went to the cemetery to visit his grave. We had been there for approximately 10 minutes or so walking around and straightening up flowers and stuff on other graves of people we knew when we finally walked over to his grave.

As soon as we got to his grave my friends car started rolling off. It was headed in the direction of my deceased friends parent's house. At the time they lived directly behind the cemetery. When we got to the car and got it stopped we checked and the car was still in gear (it was a stick shift) and the emergency break was on. I laughed at the time b/c I could just imagine Brad pulling a stunt like what had happened and sitting back laughing at us.

Anyhow, my concern is with how Brad died.

It was ruled a suicide which I never truly believed. Things just didn't add up to me. But I know that I could be wrong. I am wondering though how that plays into things. This is something that has bothered me for years and I would really like to know if at all possible if he really did kill himself. I know if he can help me he will. Like I said we were really close. He was like a brother to me. I loved him dearly.

Everyone's advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much,
Hope

suzyparker

Re: To Send Love to Soul

Unread post by suzyparker » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:45 pm

Thank you Stars for all of your help with this.. I've learned so much and feel good knowing I can send back love to her and perhaps she has already been feeling my love with what I have been doing.

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Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by CopperFox » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:52 pm

When you say you never believed it was a suicide, do you mean you think it could have been something accidental -- like an overdose or medical mistake? Or do you suspect something violent?
Michelle Hunter, a.k.a that Tricky CopperFox
I will lift mine eyes up to the mountains, from whence comes my strength...
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faith2008

Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by faith2008 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:57 pm

CopperFox wrote:When you say you never believed it was a suicide, do you mean you think it could have been something accidental -- like an overdose or medical mistake? Or do you suspect something violent?

I think someone else killed him. Does that make a difference?

Thanks,
Hope

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Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by CopperFox » Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:03 pm

Insofar as honoring his spirit, I would say no, although he may be bit angry or unsettled -- whether is was suicide or murder. I didn't know if perhaps you meant you felt odd about approaching him if he had indeed committed suicide or if you meant you felt compelled to learn the truth behind his death.
Michelle Hunter, a.k.a that Tricky CopperFox
I will lift mine eyes up to the mountains, from whence comes my strength...
Psalm 121

faith2008

Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by faith2008 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:12 pm

Thanks CopperFox. I would love to know the truth behind his death but I know that may be something I will never know in this life.

I was unsure about trying to contact him at all though. I wasn't sure if the circumstances around his death (suicide or murder) made a difference.

One more question though, is it okay to use the dirt from his grave in spells considering I don't know for certain how he died?

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Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by CopperFox » Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:48 pm

When you go to the graveyard, before you ever collect the dirt, you need to take the time to attempt to contact Brad. Don't expect anything as dramatic as the car stunt, though! If you have the feeling that he wants to help you then you would want to buy the dirt. Before actually doing any spellwork with it, though, I would set it up in a space with a candle, picture and small offering. A mini-altar, so to speak. Take some time to acquaint yourself with the feeling you get when attempting to establish a link with Brad. After you've satisfied yourself that he does want to help you, then you could go ahead and use the dirt. I would first honor the spirit...re-establish your relationship and ONLY then attempt to do the work. My rationale is that Brad may not be at peace -- whether he died by his own hand or through violence. I think you'll be able to get a good feel pretty quickly, though. I mean, think about it -- who ever is READY or WILLING to die?

This is my opinion and others may disagree, but I tend to think the newly deceased are a little more unpredictable when it comes to communicating with us. Which is perfectly understandable...I imagine it takes a while to become accustomed to being a spiritual being.

Michelle

P.S. Some traditional hoodoo spells favor the grave dirt of a murder victim; so clearly there is no prejudice against working with such a spirit.
Michelle Hunter, a.k.a that Tricky CopperFox
I will lift mine eyes up to the mountains, from whence comes my strength...
Psalm 121

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Devi Spring
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Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by Devi Spring » Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:26 pm

I have read that it's best to wait 3 years after someone's passing before working them on your altar, in order to give them a chance to adjust to their new existence. It makes sense to me, though some follow that and others do not.

Some wish to work with the newly dead for particular reasons, such as solving their murder or bringing their spirit to the home to comfort their remaining relatives. Since we are speaking in this thread of suicides, there will be some emotional considerations as well.

The larger and more general thread on ancestor veneration is here:

Ancestors, The Dead, and the Graveyard Questions and Answers
ancestors,-the-dead,-and-the-graveyard-questions-and-answers-t15987.html
Devi Spring: Reader & Rootworker - Proud AIRR member and HRCC Graduate.

faith2008

Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by faith2008 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:39 pm

Thanks so much for both of your inputs on this. I feel better now about trying to contact him. He really was a special person and I miss him dearly. It would be nice to be able to have him back in my life if he wants to be, that is. Maybe it will help him find some peace too.

Hugs,
Hope

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Re: Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by GoddessMojo » Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:21 pm

In our house, we call those we find on our own 'framily'- a special blend of friend and family. Don't be afraid to work with ancestors you don't know, also. I have a line of family that wasn't honest about lineage, and never met the untold of family but have a strong connection to one of them. My ties to the 'not-real' family are also strong. Both are valid to work with- the ones who showed you love and the ones who didn't have that chance.
Thank you Saint Martha for hearing my petition and for your ongoing good works for myself and others.

Nathaniel

Re: Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by Nathaniel » Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:49 am

i am glad i joined this forum! lol

Hoodoo Girl

Re: Working with the Ancestors

Unread post by Hoodoo Girl » Tue Jan 26, 2010 6:24 am

I agree with all of the above. Sometime the bonds with "Framily" may be closer then that of actual blood relatives. I think what is the most important factor is the connection that you had with that particular person.

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Re: Ancestor question

Unread post by ConjureMan Ali » Tue Jan 26, 2010 1:41 pm

Whether he was murdered or committed suicide does not make a difference in contacting him. If he was a friend you can attempt to contact him. Either he will respond or he will not. From there you can see if he's willing to work for you. It takes time to build a relationship with your spirits, so be patient and keep at it. Remember, conjure and hoodoo's necromantic elements are more influenced by African and Native American roots, its about building a rapport rather than the European commanding necromancy.

Now, once you have build up your rapport with him you may want to gague his feelings. Is he an unsettled spirits, is he upset etc. If he was murdered or committed suicide can play a little bit of a role in what types of work he will be more willing to perform.
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