Hello Love_Muse,
I personally think its a bit late to ask whether or not a certain herb is right or not AFTER you've already constructed it, but I am of the group of people that don't reopen honey jars except once I've made progress and if I decide to cook with the sweetener I used to keep it going.
As for if its appropriate, since your trying to warm her up to you I feel it would be more apt to steer here away at the moment with such uncertain feelings. Making her feel intimidated by you by command/controlling seems a bit like going in the opposite direction. I would try to use more attracting herbs as you said you seem to be fairly friendly at events, you just need to stand out and snag her attention, and keep it, maybe something like catnip and cardamom.
Cardamom
www.herbmagic.com/cardamom-seed.htmlCatnip
www.herbmagic.com/catnip.htmlThe Clarity and King Solomon Candles are 7 day candles, is this what you plan on using? Usually a offertory or altar/chime candle is what is used in these types of works, to build on one another the wax from previous burns. If you decide to use an offertory or altar candle I suggest starting with pink - to attract her to you. Once you make some headway and have a good rapport going with her on a reoccurring basis, move to red for love and romance. You could throw in a few purple on occasion to give her the ambition to break from from her shell.
Just a few ideas, hope it helps!
You may also want to check out the following pages:
Candle Magic -
http://www.luckymojo.com/candlemagic.htmlHoney Jars -
http://www.luckymojo.com/honeyjar.html