this is my first post here. I wanted to share my experience with honey jar spells.
I think first of all, Rose - try getting high quality wax candles - or use the same quality candles in each color candle you are using. That way, you can be sure that it's a message rather than inconsistent quality of wax.
About two years ago, I started experimenting with hoodoo. In particular, I tried a honey jar spell successfully. My boyfriend at the time decided to break up with me, so I wanted to do a reconciliation spell and looked into spells and even spellcasters on my behalf. There were so many of them, that I couldn't decide which one to do - and the honey jar spell seemed gentle and warm. I really like honey and associate it with good, comforting things. I also liked that you can burn a candle, whenever you felt the need, that it wasn't a one time spell. What I followed was a combination of the honey jar spell posted on Lucky Mojo by Cat that can be found here: http://www.luckymojo.com/honeyjar.html
and on Hoodooroots - which can be found here: http://www.hoodooroots.com/honey.htm
When my boyfriend broke up with me, it was a bad situation. As in, he didn't want to talk to me, screened my calls, text messages and IMs, and in the rare occasion when we made plans to hang out as friends, and my heart would nearly burst with anticipation and joy, he would cancel last minute without fail. I don't know why I kept trying so hard for someone so unrelenting. And I was still in love with him, so you can imagine the distress this caused me. In desperation and anger (and I can't say that this is a good mindset in which to do any spellwork) I finally did the honey jar spell.
I included two rose petals, his and my hair tied together, and a name paper written in ink, his name written and mine crossed over it (so it creates a cross like shape) and wrote the command around it in a circle. Cat says that when writing a command in a circle around two names the command should be short and succinct - like "love me - come back to me" - but mine was the opposite - long and verbose. I wanted to be sure that I covered everything I wanted.
I didn't anoint the candle with any form of conjure oil.
I'm Christian, so I prayed over the honey jar and candle and asked for God's help. I focused my thoughts on my desired outcome - reconciliation, love, his desire for me, etc etc. (Obviously, if you're not Christian, pray to whomever/whatever you choose, or meditate. It isn't necessary at all that you subscribe to one particular belief. I'm just telling you what worked for me.) I said thank you when the candle went out and put a rose quartz stone on top of it.
What I think helped was that I wrote a lot at the time, about my feelings which helped clarified what I wanted
I did the honey jar spell sometime in July. I didn't work on it continuously like I had planned. I felt silly about the whole thing and put it away in a kitchen cupboard.
At the time, I didn't link the spell I had done with the events that followed. In late August, a month after my boyfriend and I last communicated, I received a late night phone call from him, upset, in tears, professing how much he missed me, and how sorry he was for treating me the way he had. And if I would forgive him, and perhaps give us another chance. And that he would like to take me on a trip so that we could talk. I was amazed, but wary for obvious reasons. I didn't want my heart broken again. I told him my concerns and doubts in a none-too-gentle way - I think it's too late for us - but he took it like a champ and pleaded me to please to just consider it and let him know. I finally said yes. And when we saw each other again, chemistry took over, we fell back in love and reunited.
The reunion was happy and sweet, but short lived. He tried hard to be a great boyfriend, but by December, we were rocky again, and although he was devoted as I had asked for, it wasn't quite enough for me. In a few months, we parted for good. He broke up with me and I was devastated again. But I also knew that that was the right thing for me.
I fully realize now that he was the wrong person for me in the long-term, that things have their time and place, like seasons do. I wonder what would have happened, if I kept working on it, lighting new candles, trying new spells to maintain the relationship and lead it on the desired path. In the end, I didn't want to be in a relationship where I was constantly working overtime to maintain it. I wanted balance and to have a relationship that would complement and enhance my life and interests.
In my somewhat limited experience with spellwork, if it isn't meant to be, it will not be, regardless of how hard or how many spells you try. As in, your spells will be short-lived and you will have to maintain it, kind of like keeping a candle lit outside when it's raining. It will take immense effort and it may become the focus of your life. And even then, the spell may have limited success. That's a choice you have to make. Sometimes you have to let go and let God take over, believing that it's for the best.
Here's the curious thing. I have not yet disposed of the honey jar. Partially because it's my first spell, and partially because I'm a nostalgic person and get attached to even inanimate objects. Interestingly - my ex is still in my life and very fond of me. We're friends, there is no romantic physical relationship now. I no longer love him. But, he continues to reach out to me from time to time, flirtaciously, invitingly, sweetly. I know that he still has tender, romantic feelings for me and on the rare occasion that we meet up, the way he gazes at me betrays his feelings. I know I need to dispose of the jar before I start on a new romance, in a serious way, to be fair to him.
So - my advice?
- try to do the spell when you're feeling good about yourself. go for a run, eat something nice, have fun with friends beforehand.
- don't do spellwork drunk and in an altered state.
- think about why you want to do the love spell. be honest and fair, and look at your situation as objectively as possible.
- from doing the above self reflection, get a very clear sense of what you want. If you're feeling doubtful at all, you'll get weird mixed results.
- keep a notebook for your spells.
- keep a record of when you start the spell and notice changes and write them down, so you can have an accurate idea of your spell's efficacy.
- spellwork is serious work, so don't take it lightly and do a slipshod job. You'll get slipshod results.
- you're the key ingredient, so really putting yourself into it, so meditating, praying and giving thanks are good.
- take good care of yourself and love yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself. People learn how to treat you, based on how you treat yourself. You're the most important person in your life.
- and lastly, have faith in the universe. when you give off positive energy, it really does come back to you.
Good luck with everything, everyone!