You can call the shop to schedule your reading or I believe there may be an email link through the AIRR site where you can initiate the process. I can understand your perspective of not totally wanting to hotfoot the RCmom away entirely; you are clearly a kind woman and thinking of your children first and foremost. That, to me, is the indicator of who is truly mother to these children. I would encourage you to get your reading with Ms. Cat, as she may prescribe an entirely different course of action than the one I have recommended; however, for your information and so that you may research your options, I will elaborate on the dolly and mirror box.
The stuffing herbs listed for the doll baby are all available through LM. They are added to the actual filler material, which is traditionally cotton or spanish moss. If you can acquire an article of her worn clothing to utilize as stuffing, that would be an excellent addition. Depending on your personal preference, you can either attach a photo of her to the dolly for the face or you can fashion the face yourself with stitchery, fabric paints, etc. Given your circumstances you will want to pay particular attention to the mouth. Either leave it out altogether (or blacken it out in the photo) or "sew it shut" as I did. Since you need this conjure to be as strong and lasting as possible make a good effort to get several good personal concerns -- hair, clothing, her signature and/or a photo will assist you in linking the dolly to your target. Once you have assembled the doll to your satisfaction, it must be baptised in her name. I am attaching the following link for your information:http://www.luckymojo.com/esoteric/occul ... ltips.html
Once the doll baby is assembled and baptised you can then begin to work with it to bring about the results you need. The condition oils you have are all appropriate -- remember that banishing is less harsh than the hotfoot formula and can be used with the intention of lessening, but not totally ending her contact with the children. Another complementary conjure you can work along with the doll baby is to get an LM skull figural candle, inscribe it with her full name and your command, then annoint the mouth area with stop gossip and the top of the head with bend over. This is done with the intention of stopping her inappropriate comments and allowing you to dominate her actions where the family is involved. You can toss the dolly into the freezer when you need to "cool her off" but you don't necessarily want to keep her there, since you are not interested in actually freezing her out. Once the doll baby is finished, I'm sure you will come up will all sorts of symbolic actions you can take upon her to help bring about a change in the situation. Just remember -- the doll baby is her and you are going to exert your will upon her. Yes, the acts are symbolic, but the energy and intent is carried through the subtle planes into the mundane world. That is how magick manifests itself.
You can also prepare a mirror box for keeping the dolly in to deflect her rotten ways back to her. In fact, I would recommend the dolly live in the mirror box whenever you are not actively working with her. The following link will give you details for making the mirror box: http://www.luckymojo.com/uncrossing.html
. While the specifics given on this webpage are for a harsher uncrossing work, it can easily be adapted to meet your needs.
As for your concerns about cleansing for yourself and the family -- it is an absolute must. You should establish a regular regime of cleansing if you are regularly working any type of conjure. That goes double if you are engaged in any sort of work intended to deflect negativity or for protection. Not to mention you need to ward yourself against the bad energy she is sending your way on a constant basis. You can easily incorporte cleansing into your regular house cleaning. The family would benefit from having spiritual soaps available to them -- two good ones are the Parrot Botanicals #333 and the Bee & Flower Sandalwood soaps. You can also dress their laundry as you see fit by using the appropriate bath crystals in the rinse cycle of your wash or by adding some of the Lemongrass based laundry soaps to your wash. (LM sells two traditional lemongrass laundry soaps; you can also use these for personal cleansing, but they are not as mild on the skin as the bath bars.) You, as the conjurer, will need to be a bit more thorough in your personal cleansing. Take a cleansing/purifying bath before beginning your work and follow that with regular use of spiritual soaps. Pay attention to your energy/intuition to see if you need to step up your cleansing efforts.
I hope I have been able to provide you with the information you need to begin your research. Please do get a reading before beginning this work; you will be dealing with this woman for years to come, so it will be wise to have every advantage you can muster in dealing with her.
Take care & please let us know how it goes for you,Michelle