My life needs to change pretty much immediately. Desolate and desperation are words that define my situation but I know that I have the capacity to change my life because I have proven my resilience time and time again.
I need a path. I am not indecisive, I am a blank slate and I should say that I 100% cannot afford a reading, no way, not even an option.
Background: In 2010 I went back to school at the age of 35 and loved it. I had a 3.8 gpa at one of the best schools in the U.S. and I had a great federal job at an art gallery on the national mall. In 2012 & I opted to move to another state to get away from toxic people which meant goodbye to academia & my job. Geography did not change anything. Technology prevents us from truly escaping people though so folks kept eating at me until I couldn’t take it anymore & I checked myself into a hospital. These people still have a tremendous impact on my life & and mental health & unfortunately I must interact with them until some legal issues resolve themselves. Between January 2013 & October 2014 I was in the hospital four times and currently I am on social security disability.
Anxiety has become my master and it impacts every aspect of my life. Namely, I am now afraid of people. On the upside, I am very honest and self aware when it comes to my mental health and I am taking steps to manage my condition. So my question is not about medical issues, it is about finding the right road to follow.
I never considered changing my career path, returning to school was accomplishing a goal I set for myself, but I ended up getting much more out of it than I anticipated. Finances and close proximity to relatives stand in the way of me formally resuming my studies but it is my hope to return to the same university & finish what I started because it was extremely fulfilling and I want to go to graduate school.
Up until 2013 I worked in ornamental horticulture. Somatic symptoms associated with anxiety impact my ability to do such detailed work with my hands so currently this is not an option but I am optimistic that my anxiety will fade and I will carry on with my previously active lifestyle.
My living situation is convenient for my regular doctor visits but is otherwise unpleasant. I need to move soon because environmental factors in my building are effecting my physical health. I don’t want to go just anywhere though. I ended up in the situation that I am in now because I rushed to move and I don’t want to repeat that (but I need to get out of here). Also, I don't want another temporary home, I want to put down roots.
I pray to St. Anthony for inspiration and clarity and I have been able to eliminate things that I do not want to do but I have a lack insight about the future. I see other people and things clearly but with me it's an abyss. In my heart of hearts my greatest dream is to have a family of my own & to be a mother but that is not realistic (had to have a hysterectomy last year, I still have my ovaries but harvesting my eggs for surrogacy would not be cheap). I don't just want direction and clarity, I need purpose and I need a goal.
The post, “Need assistance obtaining an internship and career direction” is similar to what I am experiencing only I am older and in great need of a complete overhaul and personal development.
eyeslikeapisces wrote:I am getting ready to graduate in the spring and this fall, I have to work an internship. I am having a difficult time finding 'the right fit' and also I still have no clue what direction I need to take with my career, once I graduate.
Specifically I would like to get a little self confidence and hopefully success when i begin the application process and the same when I really start delving into my career, any suggestions would be appreciated!
I'm thinking something along the lines of luck,john the conqueror, maybe something with saint expedite. mojo bag for myself?
I have Crown of Success oil. What are “appropriate” opportunities and do you recognize them when they present themselves to you? I want what is best for me, not what is convenient.Devi Spring wrote:I would go with some Crown of Success + Master for yourself, with some Attraction spellkit to draw the appropriate opportunities to you.
Getting a reading would make this transition much easier, but it is not an option. Saving money for food & toiletries is challenge enough.starsinthesky7 wrote:If you want some confidence, I would light a crucible of courage candle for that, or you can get a mojo bag such as master, or john the conqueror. In addition, I would recommend you getting a reading as well to see if that helps with the possible direction you should go in your career. Also, I would recommend doing some road opening work as well.
I am working on my self worth and I have been doing cleansing baths and smudging with sage.Darth Rosa wrote:I think it sounds like you need to get "clear" first, before the magick can work.
First, you must know exactly what you want, whether it's an internship that pays, or a very specific job that will give you such and such, once you got that--you can do the magick.
In the meantime, purchase a cleansing bath to remove all doubts, fears, and insecurities. First you must ground out the negative, before you can center in the positive.
After that, you can buy any kind of oil that will boost your self confidence, and annoint yourself every day, or light some candles that will boost your self esteem.
In order to get "clear" about what you want, try burning a white candle, use a sigil for clarity, and annoint it with Frankincense oil, while meditating about what exactly you're looking to do.
I have Van Van Oil & Road Opener Oil what can I do with them? Hindu Grass sounds great but I don't have it on hand. Alternatives?Miss Bri wrote: Road Opener opens the road for you by clearing away any obstacles.
Hindu Grass Oil cleans up messes (usually tricks that others laid down on *you* or even just bad luck/bad vibes) and can help sever painful ties to past events. So if you have obstacles that are specifically tied to past events Hindu Grass Oil would be good, but Hindu Grass Oil in combination with Road Opener would be better.
Van Van is also a road opening type formula, and yes it is used to anoint charms and talismans but it is also a general "good luck" formula and it is used for cleansing out messes and negativity and restoring sparkle and shine.
If you are still unsure you can use all three together.
MissMichaele wrote:I think you should go out on a limb -- just an inch or so -- and get the Crown of Success spell kit. It contains a mojo bag as well as the rest of the Crown of Success line of spiritual supplies, so you can take baths, burn incense, and dress your resume with the sachet powder. There are a few candles included to help prepare your mojo bag for its work, but smoking it with incense will do that too.
Since you aren't sure what you want to do, I'd also buy some Clarity products to use along with the Crown of Success supplies.
I have Clarity Oil & Crown of Success. Is Solomon's Seal Root similar to King Solomon Wisdom?Devi Spring wrote:Clarity would be a good formula to work with on this case. Once you identify some possible directions, you can then add some King Solomon Wisdom to the mix to help you make the right decision.
Here is a list of what I have, not all of it fits this particular situation but it is what’s available to work with:
althaea leaves, allspice berries, angelica root powder, balm of gilead buds, calamus root, cardamom seeds, catnip, cloves, cubeb berries, damiana leaves, deer’s tongue, dill seed, five finger grass, frankincense resin, gentian root, golden seal , hops flowers, lavender flowers, licorice root, marjoram leaves, myrrh, queen elizabeth root powder, rose buds, rosemary leaves, solomon’s seal root, white sage smudge, yarrow flowers, Blessing Oil, Come to Me Oil, Crown of Success Oil, Queen Elizabeth Oil, Road Opener Oil, St. Anthony oil, St. Martha Oil, Van Van Oil, Victory Oil
I'm on my knees asking for help. Any feedback will be appreciated.