Hi everyone, i am new here but have been lurking for awhile
. My background is in the celto-druidic path (I trained as a priestess in the Uk years ago) but have been a solitary for many years though I don't practice much these days. In speaking with another practitioner, I learned about hoodoo and jar spells, which might explain how I am drawn to all things southern as well and how comfortable I feel there! (I live in L.A. but love grits and sweet tea and greens!)
Anyway, here is the Reader's Digest Condensed Version. After years of swearing off relationships...because I could not control myself
and because the last one ended badly and I foolishly tried a binding that backfired (we are talking back in 1999 and the effects finally wore off about 2 years ago after I undid it several times!) I met someone. He and I are not kids (we are early 50's) and we just clicked. I recognize the karmic connection and also the one we have in this life. It is complicated. he is in a marriage though separated and there are lots of issues to contend with. Bottom line is he is staying put for now for his own reasons though is miserable. Yes, I know it sounds like a crock but I am tapped into his energy and we have talked and I am taking him at his face value for now. He has been honest with me.
Anyway, it is clear we are forming an attachment to each other. Never mind we said nothing like that when we first met up. Rules are made to be broken! He is stubborn and won't talk about things much (a capricorn of course) though I sense he wants to know about me and is sad and jealous he can't be with me more (I have a busy life but when we have time we see each other). Of course we both want more. But will we say it? Who knows.
I started a honey jar about a month and a half ago (we met in December) and asked that we move forward together towards a more settled kind of relationship with communication, passion and love---though i knew it would be difficult. I put in rose petals and some personal body items from us both. Have burned pink and red candles, anointed with olive oil (blessing) and a few drops of compel and drive and oil, asking him to come to me so we can build our relationship further, etc.
Lately the candles have burned all the way down in the votive holder only leaving the metal wick disc. One time the glass broke in two with nothing left but the wick. We have had some intense connections (not often, that's how it is) as well an dhe seems to be opening up to me. Therein lies the problem...and what I need advice on.
When we do connect, be it in person or an long phone call, he pulls back a little after that. I know he stated he could not do emotional attachments and I sense he is fighting the fact that he is falling for me hard and wants to make changes in his life. I am putting up this big front as well, trying to be non commital about things and not telling him about my life. I would like this element of our relationship to change. I'd like more open and honest communication between us both about our feelings, what we want, how we can make things work in spite of what's in our lives, etc. I am not (necessarily) asking for him to marry me, I know that's not a viable option right now. What I would like is for us to spend more time together, maybe sneak off away, be able to step out and have dinner, whatever...and that he is receptive an dopen to these ideas so he can suggest them. I know better than to initiate that
My birthday is at the end of May...and I'd like things to move forward as a present to us both. I also know these spells take time and there is free will but this man and I do have a very real connection and I'd like to nudge it along, that's all. Whatever happens, for the harm of all...at least so we have a chance to see what we can really carve out with each other.
Sorry to have gone on and on...Any ideas or suggestions? Also, I'm not the wealthiest person right now (the unemployed blues) so I can't spend tons on supplied but can make do with the basics. Hoodoo shops are few on the ground out here as well! Blessings and thanks, psychic kitty.
It's a bittersweet symphony, this life...