Note: I apologize for the dissertation, but I rather be honest, give full details, and ask questions so people know the full scope.
I have been in an emotional relationship for the past four years with a man who I have come to realize is not emotionally available to me. In other words, I am his rock, but the buck stops there. In all fairness to him, he has been there from time to time, but it seems he always has bigger than life issues of his own. While I believe he has had the worst run of bad luck with a series of back to back events never allowing him up for air (and yes, for four years), I have wondered in the past few months if there is anything that can be done to right all these wrongs -- both the wrongs in his life and the wrongs in this relationship. That said, with his problems getting worse, we have become more distant, barely speaking to each other. This is odd for two people who would speak for hours every day, six days a week. To be honest, I have a bit of resentment (maybe that's not the best word) because I feel he has abandoned me. Despite all this, I am pretty calm about the situation, but I wanted to stir things up and work toward a resolution. Problem: I will have to do the work. The man is in a state where he can't even think because he is unhappy with his life, job, finances.
- He has been married for 3 1/2 years
- Has a 3 year-old little girl who he loves to death, but who wouldn't love a child
- Is massively in debt ... in the tens of thousands ... and can't pay all the bills
- Wife doesn't want to work
- Been hired and fired 3 times in the past 3 years
- I had a reading with Cat late last year. She recommended I give it until April while working on it.
- Purchased an Intranquility Spell Kit. Why? I have been in agony for four years and wanted him to feel what I have been feeling. In retrospect, I am not taking back my decision because everything is in motion. But becoming more acquainted with this forum, I wonder if there were other better spells.
- Performed Intranquility Spell: The incense was insane, crackling and all. I have never heard that sound from incense. It wasn't out of control. Just loud with a strong smoky smell (no, I did not use the whole pack). The candle blew out twice. It was because my altar is four feet away from the air conditioning duct. I slightly moved it away and it has remained lit with a strong flame. I decided to light it a third time after consulting with the Lucky Mojo shop.
- I am not sure if the spell was cast correctly. Below are the questions that lead me to ask if it was performed correctly.
- As mentioned, the incense had a crackling noise. Not sure if this is common.
- The flame has been strong and constant. The glass case for the candle is clean so far (two days to go). The candle wick has left behind these little black wick residue pieces that sit on top of the candle.
- We have spoken far less since I began the process. And we were barely speaking before. I know he is on the road for work and trying to figure out his financial issues, but ... ?
1. In your opinion, was this the wrong spell to choose? If so, which spell would you recommend? And if that is the case, how do I correct these matters?
2. In reading more about the Intranquility Spell, I have seen some postings that say the following:
a. This spell should be used only if you are broken up and do not speak with the person. I was not under that impression.
b. You should not make the first initial contact after casting the spell. Let them contact you.
c. Add a personal item of theirs to the spell.
d. And in this forum, to bathe before and after casting the spell.
e. As for the position of the cross and candle on the altar, I have seen different descriptions of how it should be done.
So, none of the above was done (excluding E, which I placed how I thought it should be). I followed the spell kit to the T with the instructions provided in the spell kit. Can anyone shed some clarity?
3. Is the lack of communication resistance on his part even though the candle seems to be working as it should? What signs should I look for?
4. Should I start over again with either this or another spell? If so, any recommendations?
The goal was not to hurt him, although I understand it is torture that is being cast upon him. The goal was for him to realize how he has made me feel. There have been days when he sees he is doing something wrong and opens up to me about it, but I do not see him feeling it, and I believe he needs to feel the pain he is inflicting on someone else. I would always welcome him back in my arms (saw that written that way somewhere here) and make things better. But he needs to feel the pain his own actions cause. I believe that by experiencing it, it will be the only way his eyes may open ... or at least I hope.
Thank you for your time!