magicmurphy wrote:... My cutoff date is looming (end of the month) and the focus and hopefulness needed to do this work just leaked right out my eyes. (Actually, it really felt like a meltdown.) It feels like I'm grieving all over again. This just stinks.
Miss Michaele, you said in an earlier response to me that the sudden tears may not be "something wrong", but actually a sign.
I gotta ask... because I just can't figure it out... a sign of what?
I hate to say it, but it could very well be a sign that the work will not succeed. Reconciliation work is hard.
my surety in the work is really compromised now.
This is the one thing you do NOT need to worry about -- "Am I being positive enough?" We know that the herbs, minerals and curios have their own spirit, and the candle radiates the spirit out into the cosmos. Spellwork can be a way of "praying when you can't pray." I like to quote Romans 8:26 at times like this --
The Bible wrote: we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
magicmurphy wrote:You know what's really hard? What's popped up is the negative thought that I just can't do love magic for myself. And if I can't do love magic, I'll never be loved and happy. And I KNOW that sure doesn't help with successful love magic - I mean, duh, right? - , but I can't shake it after today's breakdown, either. But I'm not sure what to do, how to be hopeful again while I finish this run.
First of all, you are concentrating on one of the most difficult branches of love magic, one which has the lowest success rate. When this project is done, take a few weeks' rest, maybe do some Cut & Clear, and try some Look Me Over work. If that succeeds, you can hold your head up (and smile as the boys flock around).
Second, even if you can't do your own love magic that doesn't mean you have to die alone. That's why we go to root workers. That's why we carry mojo bags and other charms that others have made.
Let the candles and your root workers do the praying. Do some Tranquility work for yourself.
One last thing that I rarely mention, because I haven't seen it work this way for anyone else: a blowout like this can be the sign of a coming breakthrough. I've noticed this in my own life. "The night is darkest before the dawn," they say.