I have to say that your post has alarmed me tremendously.
When you say: "He has lashed out at me violently a few times he has uncontrollable anger"
, has this man physically hit you?
I highly suggest that you seek some professional help with this situation. I understand that you love him, that he has completed the family concept for your child, and you feel grateful. I truly do understand. BUT there is no excuse for his behaviors. NONE. Even if he hasn't hit you, he is emotionally abusive to you. You don't deserve this. If he's has hit you, you really need to get out.
A long time ago, I once heard a Psychiatrist say: "Most of the human population has had traumatic events in their childhood"
and I'll never forget that. It's just not an excuse to treat you this way. And it really isn't a healthy milieu for your child.
It's always scary to leave a comfortable situation. Whether its environmental and/or financial comfort. A professional can help you to se things clearly.
In the meantime, to answer your question, here is a page on Peaceful Home that you can browse: www.luckymojo.com/peacefulhome.html
If you need anything, we are here for you.
PLEASE PLEASE stay safe.