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Spells for Angry Depressed Negative Evil Abusive Parents

Spells for Angry Depressed Negative Evil Abusive Parents

Unread postby Angelina » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:44 am

Hi all,

Please help- I have written on these boards various times-thanks for all the help.

This time i want to talk about my mom. You may have read that there were some getting along issues between her and my husband. it was getting better, but then it started again. She will just talk negatively about him- he is very respectful to her, but sometimes she doesn't agree with his ideas and has her opinions-but she really goes overboard. i am doing a honey jar for them now.

But I am thinking maybe I should first do something for her because I am finding over the past few months she has been filled with anger and this seems to have gotten worse since i got married.

See, my father was killed before i was born, she never remarried and i am an only child. She has been in a bad relationship, and now she is living by herself. She has had cancer 3X - thank God she's fine. She doesn't have many friends, stays in the house, doesn't socialize, and I think she may even be a little depressed. I told her even a support group may help, she doesn't want to hear it.

i have been and will always be there for her. i visit her almost every day. Me and my husband even just moved closer to where she lives, he also visits but nothing seems to help. She is constantly saying bad things about everyone, worstly my husband.

i cannot take it anymore. Nothing seems to make her happy, Even when we go shopping she is annoyed by people. it just doesn't seem she can get along with anyone. What can i do, she is filled with soooo much anger; i wish i can rid her of this and bring her happiness.

Please help-Thanks
Angelina
 

Re: very angry mother

Unread postby starsinthesky7 » Mon Apr 13, 2009 9:39 am

You need to find out why she is so angry. I would go get some divination, or even try asking her. If I had been through all of that, I would be angry too. I am not sure if cleansing her would help, but I immediately thought of doing a peaceful home candle, blessing, or tranquility candle for her might help. She might even need some healing work of some sort done.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
Thank you St. Peter for opening the gates&roads!
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Re: very angry mother

Unread postby Literarylioness » Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:37 pm

Are you sure we do not have the same mother?

My mother is just like that and I leave her alone. I keep myself protected and just let everything roll off my back. She is a 64 (soon to be 65) year old woman and I respect her age. That's all I can do.

If I were you, I would stop putting so much energy into her. She probably loves the attention. You can do a blessing spell kit for her to be nice, but do not let her come between you and your husband. Your husband and your children should be your first priorities.

I know it is painful, but part of growing up is knowing when to let go of our parents' hands. Remember your mother's life is not yours and her choices are not yours either. She does not have to get along with your husband, so respect that she does not and leave her alone.

I would burn a white candle for her and keep yourself protected.

Mary
Literarylioness
 

Re: very angry mother

Unread postby Angelina » Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:30 pm

Thanks Starsinthesky-i have tried talking to her about her anger but she refuses to acknowledge how she is acting and sees nothing wrong-good thoughts about the healing work-I was thinking the same-Thanks again!

Hi Mary, thanks so much for your advice-always appreciated! I was thinking a white candle with some holy oil, and blessing incense along with a Psalm for healing. Thanks again!
Angelina
 

Help with my Mother

Unread postby spicycreolegirl » Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:48 am

I need help with my mother. I am 52 years old, and my Mom is 83. I love my mother dearly, and I take care of her, now, and I will always take care of her.

But the problem is everytime, a man comes around me and wants to start dating me. She starts talking so negative, and telling me that he is no good, and all of this kind of stuff, before she even knows him.

Now, there is a potential new man in my life, and my mother knows his whole family, and I thought that she would be happy because she do know everyone in his family, but this morning, she started again, telling me that he is no good, and he wouldn't have anything if it wasn't for his mother, and all of this kind of stuff.

I do not want all of these negative vibes around me. How can I make my mother stop being so negative around me with men.

I feel like that she is wishing that no man would ever wants me.

Is there anything that I can do? This potential new man is a very good catch, and I do not want anything to stop him from becoming closer to me.

Please Help!!!

Thanks Everyone!!!
spicycreolegirl
 

Re: Help with my Mother

Unread postby Papa Rouj » Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:55 am

One suggestion that I would have is this:

Work with your ancestors on this one. Your mom, May God bless her is simply very protective of her baby, no matter what your age may be and perhaps rather than you trying to calm her it might do to go to y'alls ancestors and ask them to help you sort it all out.

I'm thinking perhaps your Grandmother (Your mom's mom)

That's what I'm thinking...
Papa Rouj
 

Re: Help with my Mother

Unread postby Wylde » Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:40 am

I have similar problems, with my own mother and it may be simply she is afraid of what might happen if your with a guy. Will you leave her etc. It could just be fear, and like with my own mom no amount of verbal reassurance really stops all of it.
Wylde
 

Re: Help with my Mother

Unread postby spicycreolegirl » Thu Jun 25, 2009 12:31 pm

Thanks, Everyone.

I don't know if I would leave her or not, but I would make sure that she is well taking-care of, and I have told her this many times.
spicycreolegirl
 

Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:13 am

Greetings All-

A relatively heavy question perhaps but one that I have to process. At 51 years of age I have yet to clear an intense (My Moon is in Aries {Christina Crawford, author of Mommie Dearest, has this arrangement if you catch my drift although unlike her} in the 5th House) and never- going-away issue with my mother who has been and continues to be such a intense thread of conscious and willful deprivation eventuating on my part in terrific blockage/stagnation/trauma/vegetativeness. Obviously, at my age I am not looking to suck at the teat but instead to release the anger and trauma, that such historical and now-become-purposeful niggardliness, has trapped me in, not to mention bring to account the source of such. It s though my life within my family has been nothing else than a moratorium on myself. This is definitely what is called a "Betrayal Bond" as fleshed out by Patrick J. Carnes in his book, "The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships" Therein, the author talks about how there is no growth possible AT ALL until one come to cope with such a situation.

This is an initial, feeling my way, query. Grey, realeasing Magic ain't gonna work given my turned-against-myself explosiveness. Black magic doesn't feel like the way to go either. I am developing a process, which I will only highlite here which essentially entails going back year by year and RETURNING any and all overt trauma that this person has buried in me through conscious, knowing irresponsibility and choice making.

Any responses or experiences or processing with such issues would be greatly appreciated.


Thanks alot
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Mandy » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:28 am

Hi Spinningredjet,
Speaking as someone with limited wisdom and knowledge (just take this for what it is worth) how about a ritual to cut and clear your mother completely out of your life? Then do some work that concentrates on self-healing. Spare no attention, spare no love! Take your time. Every day, start your day with loving thoughts towards yourself and think, "What do I want to do today? What would make me happy?" If you ever feel ready, if ever, introduce a "whole" new relationship with your mother, into your life, on your terms. This may or may not include her actual physical presence. It may consist of only thoughts within yourself. Be patient with yourself and take things at a pace which works for you. Love yourself and be true to yourself. In the end, as at the beginning, you're on your own.
Peace and Blessings,
Mandy
Mandy
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:10 pm

spinningredjet wrote:Greetings All-

A relatively heavy question perhaps but one that I have to process. At 51 years of age I have yet to clear an intense (My Moon is in Aries {Christina Crawford, author of Mommie Dearest, has this arrangement if you catch my drift although unlike her} in the 5th House) and never- going-away issue with my mother who has been and continues to be such a intense thread of conscious and willful deprivation eventuating on my part in terrific blockage/stagnation/trauma/vegetativeness. Obviously, at my age I am not looking to suck at the teat but instead to release the anger and trauma, that such historical and now-become-purposeful niggardliness, has trapped me in, not to mention bring to account the source of such. It s though my life within my family has been nothing else than a moratorium on myself. This is definitely what is called a "Betrayal Bond" as fleshed out by Patrick J. Carnes in his book, "The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships" Therein, the author talks about how there is no growth possible AT ALL until one come to cope with such a situation.

This is an initial, feeling my way, query. Grey, realeasing Magic ain't gonna work given my turned-against-myself explosiveness. Black magic doesn't feel like the way to go either. I am developing a process, which I will only highlite here which essentially entails going back year by year and RETURNING any and all overt trauma that this person has buried in me through conscious, knowing irresponsibility and choice making.

Any responses or experiences or processing with such issues would be greatly appreciated.


Thanks alot


Well, I had a similar experience with my father and I went to my (his) Ancestors for help. I asked them to heal me and guide me in what was the best way to handle him. They worked miracles for me. They did work that I could not do. I also did a Cut & Clear on my father along with a black walnut bath.

I suggest you ask your Ancestors' (mother's) side for help in healing you around her.

Mary
Literarylioness
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:40 pm

Mary,

That strikes me out of the blue as very, very powerful!!! Ancestor work, while not unappealing to me at all in thought, is not where I go at first, you see, because when the primary care environment SUCKS so utterly it sort of throttles the flow and sense of "Ancestor" AT ALL. I don't even have the idea that I have ancestors! However, my mother's sister is in Spirit and I have always adored her and she had an eye for me as a child right away and took me aside from my abusive brothers. To give you an idea of what a gem this women is, her own son was born with a severely deformed hand and he is now an M.D.! Yes, yes I think I'd like to go to her. She wasn't easy on my mother either I remember.
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:43 pm

Mandy wrote:Hi Spinningredjet,
Speaking as someone with limited wisdom and knowledge (just take this for what it is worth) how about a ritual to cut and clear your mother completely out of your life? Then do some work that concentrates on self-healing. Spare no attention, spare no love! Take your time. Every day, start your day with loving thoughts towards yourself and think, "What do I want to do today? What would make me happy?" If you ever feel ready, if ever, introduce a "whole" new relationship with your mother, into your life, on your terms. This may or may not include her actual physical presence. It may consist of only thoughts within yourself. Be patient with yourself and take things at a pace which works for you. Love yourself and be true to yourself. In the end, as at the beginning, you're on your own.
Peace and Blessings,
Mandy


Hi Mandy,

I just posted a long appreciative response to this kind response of yours and now I don't see it. Hmmm. let me log off and on again
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:32 pm

spinningredjet wrote:Mary,

That strikes me out of the blue as very, very powerful!!! Ancestor work, while not unappealing to me at all in thought, is not where I go at first, you see, because when the primary care environment SUCKS so utterly it sort of throttles the flow and sense of "Ancestor" AT ALL. I don't even have the idea that I have ancestors! However, my mother's sister is in Spirit and I have always adored her and she had an eye for me as a child right away and took me aside from my abusive brothers. To give you an idea of what a gem this women is, her own son was born with a severely deformed hand and he is now an M.D.! Yes, yes I think I'd like to go to her. She wasn't easy on my mother either I remember.


Well, then you are going to stay stuck, because for better or for worse, you are a part of your mother. You have ancestors. We all have ancestors and that is why they can help you. That is the beauty of Ancestor work.

My father maybe a class A asshole, but I would not be writing this without him. I have friends who thank my father for my existence and even though he may have a black heart, he helped create something beautiful in me. See how that works?

Your mother maybe Satan's sister, but without her you would not be on this board requesting help, without her you would not be doing anything at all. It is this twisted dance with your mother that keeps you locked in your bitterness and your/her ancestors can help free you from it.

I see and hear your type of story on a nearly daily basis. People want to heal, but do not want to tend or face the wound. I understand your anger towards your mother and I can sympathize with you, but it is this very anger that is keeping you attached to her.

Think about it.

Mary
Literarylioness
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Silverpony » Fri Jul 17, 2009 4:16 pm

I empathize. Any -animal- can have babies, but it takes a lot more than that to raise a child. I empathize with the idea of being disconnected from ancestors to the point of not even really realizing one -has- any on account of parental problems; my mother abandoned me essentially in infancy and was physically out of my life altogether my kindergarten year, and my father could not do an adequate job of raising us on his own - and he then proceeded to marry another woman who was passive-agressively satan's sister when I was in fifth grade. Oy. Both my parents are now dead, but the scars they left are still with me and I am -still- dealing with them, because it is all I know. It is a long slow process and I am still learning very fundamental things many people take for granted, like what trust is and basic social skills, basic ability to -interact- with people. Maybe you and I will get to literarylioness' stage someday where we can accept the animals who brought us into the world, but for now I would rather slowly cut off my left leg with a blunt and rusty breadknife than work with people who couldn't be bothered to spare the time of day for me when I was a needy, vulnerable infant onwards.

I -do- like the suggestion of going over the parent's heads to their ancestors; that idea has never occured to me, largely because I now realize I assumed their rejection of me would be the automatic, natural response and that it would of course be as complete and thorough as the rejection of me by my parents was. Maybe it won't be... I should investigate.
Silverpony
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:13 pm

literarylioness wrote:
spinningredjet wrote:Mary,

That strikes me out of the blue as very, very powerful!!! Ancestor work, while not unappealing to me at all in thought, is not where I go at first, you see, because when the primary care environment SUCKS so utterly it sort of throttles the flow and sense of "Ancestor" AT ALL. I don't even have the idea that I have ancestors! However, my mother's sister is in Spirit and I have always adored her and she had an eye for me as a child right away and took me aside from my abusive brothers. To give you an idea of what a gem this women is, her own son was born with a severely deformed hand and he is now an M.D.! Yes, yes I think I'd like to go to her. She wasn't easy on my mother either I remember.


Well, then you are going to stay stuck, because for better or for worse, you are a part of your mother. You have ancestors. We all have ancestors and that is why they can help you. That is the beauty of Ancestor work.

My father maybe a class A asshole, but I would not be writing this without him. I have friends who thank my father for my existence and even though he may have a black heart, he helped create something beautiful in me. See how that works?

Your mother maybe Satan's sister, but without her you would not be on this board requesting help, without her you would not be doing anything at all. It is this twisted dance with your mother that keeps you locked in your bitterness and your/her ancestors can help free you from it.

I see and hear your type of story on a nearly daily basis. People want to heal, but do not want to tend or face the wound. I understand your anger towards your mother and I can sympathize with you, but it is this very anger that is keeping you attached to her.

Think about it.

Mary


Hi Mary
I am indeed very drawn to the Ancestor angle on this! Hope that got through to you. Witnesses and objectivity, especially from Beyond, these I believe I could feel secure with. In fact, this past holiday flare up I had brought home with me a very respectable and vibrant witness, a South East Asian Indian woman with whom I am studying Vedic and Tantric subjects, a woman close to my mother's age and a mother herself. As I mentioned to Mandy in a response I must have mistakenly jettisoned a very interesting event happened then which I may narrate later, something which really was a magical errand on my part that I had needed to perform for quite some time. This achievement, plus having the objective witness there with me has totally reset the energetics of this mother/child ordeal in my favor because of nothing other than the Truth. Probably, this is the reason I can think about moving forward here on this forum.

So, indeed, this is an ordeal. Jung speaks of the Hero Slaying the Terrible Mother, the Mother as Earth which magnetizes the child down preventing it from differentiating. In fact, probably my analysis of this situation which possesses the most finesse is one that sees my mother's habit of rejection and niggardlyness as her way of keeping me tied.

Anyway. Yes! The Ancestors.
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:42 pm

Silverpony wrote:I empathize. Any -animal- can have babies, but it takes a lot more than that to raise a child. I empathize with the idea of being disconnected from ancestors to the point of not even really realizing one -has- any on account of parental problems; my mother abandoned me essentially in infancy and was physically out of my life altogether my kindergarten year, and my father could not do an adequate job of raising us on his own - and he then proceeded to marry another woman who was passive-agressively satan's sister when I was in fifth grade. Oy. Both my parents are now dead, but the scars they left are still with me and I am -still- dealing with them, because it is all I know. It is a long slow process and I am still learning very fundamental things many people take for granted, like what trust is and basic social skills, basic ability to -interact- with people. Maybe you and I will get to literarylioness' stage someday where we can accept the animals who brought us into the world, but for now I would rather slowly cut off my left leg with a blunt and rusty breadknife than work with people who couldn't be bothered to spare the time of day for me when I was a needy, vulnerable infant onwards.

I -do- like the suggestion of going over the parent's heads to their ancestors; that idea has never occured to me, largely because I now realize I assumed their rejection of me would be the automatic, natural response and that it would of course be as complete and thorough as the rejection of me by my parents was. Maybe it won't be... I should investigate.


I appreciate the empathy. Right! "Honor the Parents" ad nauseum and in stone but rarely, "Honor the Children". But this no doubt because children are so consistently and universally gut-loved that it needn't even be said, accept of course when it doesn't happen! With the gut love in place, a lot of missteps can probably take place without the trauma.

Aurobindo is the only teacher I have read who takes our side, somewhere saying that parents bring children into the world and that if they (parents) are a problem they should be left behind. This gets back to Mandy's post and its wisdom.

I completely and thoroughly understand what you are saying about lacking social skills etc. Today, a client may have tried to leave me a tip on an account but I am so unused to any kind of spontaneous largess that it through me into a panic, I was either going to have to kiss his feet or return it which is what I did. Thanks again.
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:07 pm

Mandy wrote:Hi Spinningredjet,
Speaking as someone with limited wisdom and knowledge (just take this for what it is worth) how about a ritual to cut and clear your mother completely out of your life? Then do some work that concentrates on self-healing. Spare no attention, spare no love! Take your time. Every day, start your day with loving thoughts towards yourself and think, "What do I want to do today? What would make me happy?" If you ever feel ready, if ever, introduce a "whole" new relationship with your mother, into your life, on your terms. This may or may not include her actual physical presence. It may consist of only thoughts within yourself. Be patient with yourself and take things at a pace which works for you. Love yourself and be true to yourself. In the end, as at the beginning, you're on your own.
Peace and Blessings,
Mandy


Hi Mandy,
Thanks again. I have had a little time to process my eternal rage and am feeling a little calmer now. Of course, your response has helped me get in touch with my own profound aggressiveness which at first wouldn't let me consider such a pacific way out. Perhaps its because I am a Leo, sign of the child, that there is such righteous indignation. Healing myself, free of the purported source of pain and shame? Why why is that so lackluster? Until I feel my way into feeling all the normalcy, the good, the money, the joy, the vibration, the plain LIFE which your response suggests. Yes, that would be a great trade off. Thanks. Yes.It is true: "One to a box"
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:21 pm

Silverpony wrote:Maybe you and I will get to literarylioness' stage someday where we can accept the animals who brought us into the world, but for now I would rather slowly cut off my left leg with a blunt and rusty breadknife than work with people who couldn't be bothered to spare the time of day for me when I was a needy, vulnerable infant onwards.


You are cutting off your leg with a rusty breadknife by doing what you are doing. Your parents have destroyed you from beyond the grave. You have allowed them to do so, by playing the victim.

I spent 34 years of my life hating my father. He was bigger than any demon Hell could have created for me. To this day, he will not acknowledge I am his flesh and blood, but that is on his head and not on mine. He will not make me a victim like he is, because he STILL hates his mother and father who are long dead. He hates them for living in France during the German Occupation. He hates them for conceiving him. He just hates and that is all he knows how to do. I am much bigger and greater than that.

You are NOT a needy and vulnerable infant now. You are only a victim if you choose to be. Why even consider practicing magic if you see yourself this way? What is the point?

Ancestor Work is not about condoning bad behavior. It is about accepting the blood that runs through our veins. It is about loving and accepting ourselves. It is true self-love and self-esteem building.

Ancestor veneration is one of the hardest things to do, but it is also the most empowering.

Mary
Literarylioness
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Wylde » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:36 pm

My quandry with ancestor worship is how do you start, if you have no pictures, no items beyond your grandparents (whom i cannot petition to for reasons similar to those with your father/mother) whom are only helpful for negative and hurtful endeavors. How do you connect with people you never met, and have ....nothing of.
Wylde
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:17 pm

Wylde wrote:My quandry with ancestor worship is how do you start, if you have no pictures, no items beyond your grandparents (whom i cannot petition to for reasons similar to those with your father/mother) whom are only helpful for negative and hurtful endeavors. How do you connect with people you never met, and have ....nothing of.


You start with a white candle and a bowl of water. You look at your ethnic make-up and put out what items came from their native lands. If you are Native American, put out something from the tribe your family belonged too. If you are Italian, put out an Italian wine. I knew my father was French, but I did not know any specifics, so I put out French brandy.

You sit in front of the altar and ask for guidance. Ask that who helped put you on this planet, help you deal with living on it.

You will be AMAZED at what happens.

mary
Literarylioness
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Silverpony » Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:02 pm

Question: If a parent was adopted and you do not know their ethnic background, what do you do? (note that parent in question is deceased)
Silverpony
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Wylde » Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:48 pm

thanks Mary I will do this and hope for the best!!
Wylde
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:52 am

You start with a white candle and a bowl of water. You look at your ethnic make-up and put out what items came from their native lands. If you are Native American, put out something from the tribe your family belonged too. If you are Italian, put out an Italian wine. I knew my father was French, but I did not know any specifics, so I put out French brandy.

You sit in front of the altar and ask for guidance. Ask that who helped put you on this planet, help you deal with living on it.

You will be AMAZED at what happens.

mary[/quote]

Yes. Thanks Mary. I can do this. My Mother is of Irish/German descent so potatoes definitely. Will think on the German side. Had a dream 2 nites ago about assembling a bird cage(recently have become reinterested in old hobby of keeping Society ;) FInches). The height and depth were fine but I noticed the depth was seemingly less almost than an inch! Nevertheless they were darting around in there. Somewhere, I heard it said that Heaven is characterised by Breadth, Hell by crampedness.
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby LeBaptiste » Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:25 pm

Sometimes love, there's just nothing better to do than go shoot a gun into a broken TV, or smash a bottle on a sidewalk...or hell, get a barrel and smash a whole bunch of bottles into it while you curse your mother and whatever else there is bothering you.

Sometimes you've just gotta look at a person like they've got a disability, and no matter what you do, it's just not going to reach them. The best you can do in that case is make sure YOU'RE taken care of and that you have some sort of outlet. You might never get closure from your mother, and I'm sure that until the day she's laid to rest she'll be an immense pain in your ass...but that's just how shit happens sometimes. People are going to do what people are going to do. Make up your own story about things if you need to, whatever it takes to get to a better place of understanding. But if you're mad, woman, you gotta be real mad. Do it like you mean it and make sure you've got a way to get it out. Dig a hole and scream every god forsaken dirty word you know into it, then bury it up and stomp it down.

Get creative. I hope for the best for you.
LeBaptiste
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:15 pm

LeBaptiste wrote:Sometimes love, there's just nothing better to do than go shoot a gun into a broken TV, or smash a bottle on a sidewalk...or hell, get a barrel and smash a whole bunch of bottles into it while you curse your mother and whatever else there is bothering you.

Sometimes you've just gotta look at a person like they've got a disability, and no matter what you do, it's just not going to reach them. The best you can do in that case is make sure YOU'RE taken care of and that you have some sort of outlet. You might never get closure from your mother, and I'm sure that until the day she's laid to rest she'll be an immense pain in your ass...but that's just how shit happens sometimes. People are going to do what people are going to do. Make up your own story about things if you need to, whatever it takes to get to a better place of understanding. But if you're mad, woman, you gotta be real mad. Do it like you mean it and make sure you've got a way to get it out. Dig a hole and scream every god forsaken dirty word you know into it, then bury it up and stomp it down.

Get creative. I hope for the best for you.


Thank you. I've never been that good at smashing things up. I did see that weird thing they use in group therapy for anger and beating things up. Has a strange name. I do see your point however.
Deprivation stinks-not good for animals or plants either.

"I see his point,--a trying to put things over.
It was the thought that they thought
they could do it made Henry wicked & away.
But he should have come out and talked."

-John Berryman (Dream Song 1)

Which is what I am doing. The bellyachin is ending though. Thanks again.
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:20 pm

literarylioness wrote: You start with a white candle and a bowl of water. You look at your ethnic make-up and put out what items came from their native lands. If you are Native American, put out something from the tribe your family belonged too. If you are Italian, put out an Italian wine. I knew my father was French, but I did not know any specifics, so I put out French brandy.

You sit in front of the altar and ask for guidance. Ask that who helped put you on this planet, help you deal with living on it.

You will be AMAZED at what happens.

mary


So, can I offer cooked food and would I eat it afterwards.

Thanks
spinningredjet
 

Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:13 pm

spinningredjet wrote:
literarylioness wrote: You start with a white candle and a bowl of water. You look at your ethnic make-up and put out what items came from their native lands. If you are Native American, put out something from the tribe your family belonged too. If you are Italian, put out an Italian wine. I knew my father was French, but I did not know any specifics, so I put out French brandy.

You sit in front of the altar and ask for guidance. Ask that who helped put you on this planet, help you deal with living on it.

You will be AMAZED at what happens.

mary


So, can I offer cooked food and would I eat it afterwards.

Thanks


No, you lay the food out in the woods or a public park.

Mary
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:17 pm

Silverpony wrote:Question: If a parent was adopted and you do not know their ethnic background, what do you do? (note that parent in question is deceased)



If you have their picture, you put there picture out. If you have nothing, just the bowl of water and a white candle.

Mary
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:46 am

literarylioness wrote:
No, you lay the food out in the woods or a public park.

Mary


Meaning:

a. Cooked food possible but laid out in woods or public park.
b. Only uncooked food and laid out in woods or public park.

and by "laid out" do you mean that the ritual is conducted in woods or public park or that the remains are left there?

Thanks alot
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Tue Jul 21, 2009 6:11 pm

spinningredjet wrote:
literarylioness wrote:
No, you lay the food out in the woods or a public park.

Mary


Meaning:

a. Cooked food possible but laid out in woods or public park.
b. Only uncooked food and laid out in woods or public park.

and by "laid out" do you mean that the ritual is conducted in woods or public park or that the remains are left there?

Thanks alot


The ritual is done in your home and the food remains are left in a park or woods the next day.

Mary
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Silverpony » Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:59 pm

Actually I just thought of another question.

If one has deceased relatives that are relatives by adoption - so that they're not genetically related to me - is it possible to work with them on an ancestor altar, too? Of all my family members who have passed on, my mother's father by adoption is the only one who was consistently kind to me and I would prefer to work with him if possible.
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby Literarylioness » Fri Jul 31, 2009 3:29 pm

Silverpony wrote:Actually I just thought of another question.

If one has deceased relatives that are relatives by adoption - so that they're not genetically related to me - is it possible to work with them on an ancestor altar, too? Of all my family members who have passed on, my mother's father by adoption is the only one who was consistently kind to me and I would prefer to work with him if possible.



I do not want to get to far abroad with this. Obviously, you are not comfortable with this concept of ancestor veneration, if that is the case, then you should leave the subject alone.

Ancestor veneration is not about picking and choosing who you will venerate.

Mary
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby catherineyronwode » Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:00 pm

Ancestor veneration is not a majority oractice in hoodoo because although all African Americans are, by definition, descended from Africans, among whom ancestor veneration is the norm, yet a large percentage of African Americans are also descended from Native Amricans, among whopm nay have a taboo against dealing with the dead. So whether or not one practices ancestor veneration would depnd on family tradition.

cat
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby cabriellenil » Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:23 pm

Silverpony wrote:Actually I just thought of another question.

If one has deceased relatives that are relatives by adoption - so that they're not genetically related to me - is it possible to work with them on an ancestor altar, too? Of all my family members who have passed on, my mother's father by adoption is the only one who was consistently kind to me and I would prefer to work with him if possible.


Hello Silverpony

I have limited experience working with the deceased, but the only person I've turned to is an uncle I had no blood ties with. He's my family, and that's that. I'd work with grandad if I were you, though others might have more informed opinions.

C.
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe.

Unread postby spinningredjet » Sat Aug 01, 2009 4:13 am

Thanks for these last few points. I googled "ancestor altar, hoodoo" and came across Lara's helpful page on the subject as well. I am stronger on the mother subject in general now but only due to being in control of the interaction (none) which is pivotal in this kind of thing. So lets see if I can start this work. I have Satrun in the First House (Sagitarius) ugh so the utter stagnation thing (until now :roll: ) lets hope.

There is a scene in the movie, "The Sixth Sense" towards the end where someone comes upon a video a little dead girl had secretly taped of her own mother poisoning her food. "Now, I don't want to hear you tell me this tastes bitter" the mother scolds the little girl as she spoons her the laced oatmeal. I had such a visceral response to that scene when I saw it :idea: . Occasionally, when I make dinner for my bff and room mate who knows my mother etc, when I'm putting down the food I'll say, "Now, I don't want to hear you tell me this tastes bitter" an we laugh heartily.
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Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby seekingtruth » Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:00 pm

My dad is a heartless, rude, mean man...he is the definition of sociopath ..he brings my whole family down ALL the time...he is angry ALL the time..and he NEEDS to argue ALL the time...my whole life all i've ever known is this from him...i am so sick and tired that i just completely stopped talking to him...we live life in our home like we don't know each other, but everyday i can still hear him arguing and let me tell you that it's for the DUMBEST of dumb things, he just likes arguing and bringing everyone to a horrible mood...i am so sick and tired of him...i feel nothing but HORRIBLE energy from him and i am tired of it because it drains me and puts ME in a bad mood, i can't even pass him without shivering and yes i am dead serious...i need a spell or spells to calm him down, get rid of all his nasty energy and make him shut up and quit arguing and putting everyone down...i pretty much need something to make him act like a decent human being with morals and feelings... i would seriously do a DUME candle but i don't want him to die because our family does depend on his income and yes that is how horrible he is that we only see him as a family provider (even though my mom makes more than him) and no hexes or curses because if he can't work, he can't pay bills and that's all he has ever been useful for on this Earth...if anyone could help, i'd GREATLY appreciate it...THANKS!
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby NotDorianGray » Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:49 pm

LM does a line of peaceful home products. Maybe you could try those?
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby zee » Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:08 am

How about a home cleansing wash, so you begin right, then follow that with the peaceful home product line as notdoriangrey suggested,...specially candles ( I find candles very useful and magical!) and dress his and actually everyone in the family's stuff that they handle the most ( carkeys, wallets, etc), and for longterm success make a honey jar for the entire family with the peaceful line products, and everyones personal items etc...

I know how you feel cuz my dad was similar tho not quite as temperamental as yours sounds....he was always, and i mean always more grouchy and sulky , we used to joke that he smiled maybe just once a year! :lol:
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby stelselv » Fri Oct 23, 2009 9:15 am

dear Seekingtruth,

sorry to hear about your domestic situation. I sympathize with you. I hope that the suggestions that other members offer you will be a success.

I had a husband (for 4 years) just like your father. I tried everything, divine mercy, prayers, novenas (to each and every saint), spells, candle ritual, dolls, cleansing, baths, honey bottle, love bottle spells, menstrual blood, urine, semen, nails, hair etc.. you name it and i would have tried it... They worked but for 1 or 2 days, then after that, he was back to his atrocities again, I wanted him dead too, but at that time I was very inexperienced, immatured, did not know how or did not know about LM products.... No matter what I did (you name it from Ato Z), could not please him. FINALLY the day came for me to call the police and he left.

You sound like a very young person, you and your siblings have a great life ahead of you. If the spells don't work, it is best that your mother gets help from the authorities, to protect herself and her children. after that you can do money drawing spells and buy spell kits from LM.

these people are the kind that will never be satisfied no matter how hard you try, because the power is in their hands, I believe that something is mentally wrong with them (can be a childhood experience or a past life experience) and they are in denial. it is a known fact that you can't use spells and magic on mentally affected people.... the more timid you are the more violent that get... they will come to you in search of trouble, it is not you, it is them... they can smell your fear and they enjoy it..

THEY KNOW THAT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS DRIVING EVERYBODY TO MISERY, AND THEY ARE AUTOCRATS BUT THEY WILL CONTINUE UNTIL THEY DRAIN THE LAST DROP OF BLOOD OUT OF YOU...

All my blessing to you and your family... :|
stelselv
 

Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby Devi Spring » Fri Oct 23, 2009 1:14 pm

The only people in my family that I am in contact with are my mother and step-father (and my maternal grandparents before they passed) because everyone in my family is this kind of toxic person. When I was 19 I moved to a different country and left no forwarding address. I've never been happier! Sometimes there are people you just have to cut out of your life at the first available opportunity.

Hopefully this won't be the case - but if it is, don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself first and just cutting toxic influences out of your life! I did the Cut n Clear and Black Walnut spell against the worst of them. It worked fantastically!
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby Mama Micki » Fri Oct 23, 2009 1:30 pm

If you live in the US and he dies, your mother and the children in the family will get Social Security. There's also life insurance. Just a thought . . .
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby NotDorianGray » Fri Oct 23, 2009 2:43 pm

I'm also going to add that you should do some protection work on yourself so that you can deflect the negative vibes you get from your dad.
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby OnlyMyself » Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:44 pm

My father was pretty much the same. He wasn't always that way. It was unfortunately a major (negative) life experience that turned him sour. He became bitter, cold, ultra-conservative, willfully ignorant... amongst other things. I suffered the most as a teenager.

The best you can do is better yourself as an individual, and gain independance. You'll never be able to change some people and make them what you want them to be. You're just banging your head against a brick wall. Save yourself the time, energy, and pain and concentrate on yourself.
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Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby seekingtruth » Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:27 pm

cleopatra wrote:If you live in the US and he dies, your mother and the children in the family will get Social Security. There's also life insurance. Just a thought . . .



Haha hey i never thought of that!...makes me think...makes me really think... ;)
seekingtruth
 

Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby seekingtruth » Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:33 pm

jujugiggles wrote:The only people in my family that I am in contact with are my mother and step-father (and my maternal grandparents before they passed) because everyone in my family is this kind of toxic person. When I was 19 I moved to a different country and left no forwarding address. I've never been happier! Sometimes there are people you just have to cut out of your life at the first available opportunity.

Hopefully this won't be the case - but if it is, don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself first and just cutting toxic influences out of your life! I did the Cut n Clear and Black Walnut spell against the worst of them. It worked fantastically!


Yes when i'm a little bit older and have a good stable job i am planning on moving and i will NEVER want to hear from him at all...I will however want to know when he's dead so that i can go to his funeral and feel how it's like to finally smile and feel at peace while in his presence....
seekingtruth
 

Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby seekingtruth » Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:33 pm

NotDorianGray wrote:LM does a line of peaceful home products. Maybe you could try those?


Yes i'll be sure to try those thanks!
seekingtruth
 

Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby seekingtruth » Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:36 pm

stelselv wrote:dear Seekingtruth,

sorry to hear about your domestic situation. I sympathize with you. I hope that the suggestions that other members offer you will be a success.

I had a husband (for 4 years) just like your father. I tried everything, divine mercy, prayers, novenas (to each and every saint), spells, candle ritual, dolls, cleansing, baths, honey bottle, love bottle spells, menstrual blood, urine, semen, nails, hair etc.. you name it and i would have tried it... They worked but for 1 or 2 days, then after that, he was back to his atrocities again, I wanted him dead too, but at that time I was very inexperienced, immatured, did not know how or did not know about LM products.... No matter what I did (you name it from Ato Z), could not please him. FINALLY the day came for me to call the police and he left.

You sound like a very young person, you and your siblings have a great life ahead of you. If the spells don't work, it is best that your mother gets help from the authorities, to protect herself and her children. after that you can do money drawing spells and buy spell kits from LM.

these people are the kind that will never be satisfied no matter how hard you try, because the power is in their hands, I believe that something is mentally wrong with them (can be a childhood experience or a past life experience) and they are in denial. it is a known fact that you can't use spells and magic on mentally affected people.... the more timid you are the more violent that get... they will come to you in search of trouble, it is not you, it is them... they can smell your fear and they enjoy it..

THEY KNOW THAT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS DRIVING EVERYBODY TO MISERY, AND THEY ARE AUTOCRATS BUT THEY WILL CONTINUE UNTIL THEY DRAIN THE LAST DROP OF BLOOD OUT OF YOU...

All my blessing to you and your family... :|



Thank you for the kind words and sharing your very similar experience...i too think he must have had a traumatizing event or events happen in his childhood to make him be this heartless man that he is...
seekingtruth
 

Re: Spell to cast on my Dad?

Unread postby Prettykila » Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:23 pm

I totally understand this. My ex boyfriends father was so abusive that he came after me a few weeks ago for making a nervous smile when something was said. He literally came at me and was going to hit me until all of the family members pushed him back!!! He is an alcoholic and a complete lunatic!!! What I did was casted a spell to get my revenge on him through the divine help of my ancestors. I wrote his name on a plain sheet of paper and remembered in detail him trying to attack me as I lit the candle and meditated and I prayed to my deceased grandfather to bring trouble upon him. Just a few days later his son, not my ex, was arrested for a DUI and an outstanding warrant. :) The brother was guilty also, the whole family discriminated upon me because I am black and their son and I choose to date outside our race. They refused to let us see another. Now they have to pay to get the car out, and bail, and are in debt to the loan company. I also put his father on ice in the freezer. I have the full spell/prayer if you want. I can tweak it to personalize it for you to where nothing happens to the entire family, just him...
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby spinningredjet » Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:07 pm

WHERE I"VE GOTTEN WITH THIS:

Well, essentially and most importantly, I discovered the exact name of the poison that was used on me, possibly from quite early on. Its called "Invalidation". It comes in two preparations: Psychological and Emotional. It is, as I had been intuitively approaching by way of my reference to the "The Sixth Sense" daughter-killing scene, quite harmful. If one simply googles the word one will immediately happen upon phrases such as,

"Invalidation may be the single most damaging form of psychological abuse "
"Psychological invalidation is one of the most lethal forms of emotional abuse. It kills confidence, creativity and individuality."
"I believe that invalidating a sensitve child is a crime against humanity."-S. Hein

(emphases mine)

All of this successful and exact diagnosis has helped bring the amps down significantly. I had funny plans-maybe a vinegar jar to invalidate my parents' marriage and let them feel what an absense of validation feels like. But for now,distance is fine. Plus, I am in group and private therapy at a conscious, responsible and up-to- speed clinic.

I may simply send a postcard home asking my mother to consider the high probability that an average family dog is afforded infinitely more authentic investment, real concern, love etc than was tossed my way. Perhaps I could dress the post card with something. Lavender perhaps? The sudden revelation of an obviously ugly truth might be the most chilling thing I could do to her."Revenge is best served cold"? Light falls in slabs, sometimes harshly.

Peace
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Re: Mother as Arch Foe

Unread postby zee » Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:43 am

This is an amazing thread.
I had been thinking of something along these lines for so many years, but in my case not my mother ( who thank God is a very good one!) but my sister and her husband. This man has an incredible hold on my sis (they are both MDs believe it or not), but is the most horrible SOB i have had the misfortune to come across.
i know he is a child molester and has traumatized my other sister ( when she was 15) and my own daughter(when she was 7), we have raised our voices but somehow no one in the rest of the family seems to want to believe us, or they want to ignore it and brush it under the carpet, and make believe we are this picture perfect family ..
i have not had resolution on this, and altho my daughter (now 18) and i talk about it, and i comfort her the best way i can, i am still not on talking terms with this man and my sis who is married to him, but i wish there was some way i could make him feel what he put these little girls through..he has 2 grls of his own, but i would not wish the same on them, regardless of what i /we have gone thru..this sort of thing is very difficult to 'prove' to anyone, but the pain is so very real
I dont even know how to find some sense of peace on this issue, do you think ancestor worship would help find resolution of some sort here? if so how would i go about it?
thx for listening :cry:
Z
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Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby Ariel10 » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:56 am

Hi

I need help for a friend. His childs mother is really insane. She hits the 15 year old with her fists when she is angry at someone else, she feels as if the world owes her everything. She refuses to work yet she is in the club every weekend. Any assistance she can get from the state she does! fuel assistance, food stamps, medicaid, section 8 for help paying her rent. And did i mention she doesn't want to work! She took him for more child support and the judge asked her why she isn't working, she said she hurt her back...a lie! she has no problem dropping it like its hot every weekend in the club. She talks bad about the girls father in front of her and he does everything for his daughter. The mother leaves him voice mail messages cursing him out to no end. The daughter said she wants to live with her dad and when they get around to court, the mother has pleaded and begged her to stay, so the daughter asks the dad to let her stay a little while longer. Did i mention she just got an almost brand new car! Don't know how with all the help she get from the state. Well i know how(different men) but how is she getting away with it and still receiving all this state help. Leave the help for those who really need it! He called the police recently because the daughter said the mother was pounding on her, she told the cops some of what happened, the mother denied it, so the cops left!!! She is running his blood pressure up, she does stuff every week! He doesn't want to hurt the mother but he wants her to stop harassing him and their daughter. Does anyone have any suggestions to help the situation? Any help appreciated.

He is going to file for custody of his daughter, right now they have 50/50 but he wants the mother to feel the evil and pain she is dishing out.
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby Ariel10 » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:16 am

Just to give a few more examples of how trifling this woman is, she will tell the daughter to call her dad and tell him to bring soap, toilet tissue, paper towels, etc., the daughter tells her no i'm not. Mind now he already does more than pay child support, he buys all her clothes,rents band instruments, everything, everything she needs(he keeps all receipts) and he is always there for her. The mom won't even buy the things she needs when it's that time of the month for the daughter, she tell her to call her dad and get him to buy it and of course he will, she needs it.
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby Devi Spring » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:38 am

Honestly, I would hire a private investigator to follow her and get documentation of her doing all these things, such as clubbing when she claims injuries keep her from working. Use that as evidence against her in the custody trial - if that's legal where you live.

You can do a Fiery Wall of Protection for the daughter to keep her safe. Put the mother in a mirror box so that all her mess comes right back at her. If there's a state welfare worker that keeps track of her case, then do some Clarity work on him/her to get them to see the mother for what she is. When the court date comes up using Confusion or Inflammatory Confusion on the mother and her lawyer so that they cannot present their case clearly. Do a honey jar and Court Case work on the judge.
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby Ariel10 » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:47 am

What type of clarity work can be done on the case worker? What color candle and use which type of oil?
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby Ariel10 » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:53 am

Ok I see LM has Clarity oil. I'm not sure he can afford a PI. When the mother informed the judge she hurt her back, he didn't order her to show proof or have a job by a certain date but he did deny her petition for more support.
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby buzzbabe » Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:34 pm

Bianca70 wrote:Hi

I need help for a friend. His childs mother is really insane. She hits the 15 year old with her fists when she is angry at someone else, she feels as if the world owes her everything. She refuses to work yet she is in the club every weekend. Any assistance she can get from the state she does! fuel assistance, food stamps, medicaid, section 8 for help paying her rent. And did i mention she doesn't want to work! She took him for more child support and the judge asked her why she isn't working, she said she hurt her back...a lie! she has no problem dropping it like its hot every weekend in the club. She talks bad about the girls father in front of her and he does everything for his daughter. The mother leaves him voice mail messages cursing him out to no end. The daughter said she wants to live with her dad and when they get around to court, the mother has pleaded and begged her to stay, so the daughter asks the dad to let her stay a little while longer. Did i mention she just got an almost brand new car! Don't know how with all the help she get from the state. Well i know how(different men) but how is she getting away with it and still receiving all this state help. Leave the help for those who really need it! He called the police recently because the daughter said the mother was pounding on her, she told the cops some of what happened, the mother denied it, so the cops left!!! She is running his blood pressure up, she does stuff every week! He doesn't want to hurt the mother but he wants her to stop harassing him and their daughter. Does anyone have any suggestions to help the situation? Any help appreciated.

He is going to file for custody of his daughter, right now they have 50/50 but he wants the mother to feel the evil and pain she is dishing out.

At 17 I lived in Chicagol in a one-room hotel, going to school full-time while working a part-time job; after taking out $45 for rent each each I had a total of $50 to buy living expenses. On the way to work I passed row after rowm block after block of high-rise public housing-projects, I didn't look on with envy, comtempt, or wonder how those people living in those projects were getting over on the govenment-I just thought that was POVERTY of the MIND and how fortunate I was not to have it.

Americans make me SUCK with how concerned they are about people getting money off the STATE, they make it seems that the money and aid should be and would be used for them if this OTHERS won't getting it. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOUR' LIFE WOULD IMPROVE IF THIS WOMEN OR OTHERS LIKE HER WASN'T GETTING MONEY OFF THE STATE?
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby Devi Spring » Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:46 pm

There's a big difference between people being in the state system due to need (whether you view that need as their "fault" or not), and people abusing and manipulating the system for their own selfish, immature, and dishonest reasons. I have a HUGE problem with people abusing the welfare system, but not because I think that money would somehow be going to benefit me. But because that money could be going to another family that really and truly is in need of it in order to get back on their feet. Some people do utilize the welfare system as a leg-up after hard-times. They deserve the help. If this woman is doing half the things that Bianca is saying she is, she's a huge problem that should be held responsible for her actions.
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Re: Need help for a friend/ childs mother crazy

Unread postby CopperFox » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:11 pm

Bianca --

You may want to contact CPS (Child Protective Services). The identity of the person making the report is confidential and once a report is made CPS is obligated to investigate the situation. Also, at the age of 15, she may be entitled to choose which parent she wishes to live with. (That is the age in WV, don't know about your state.) CPS seldom removes children from the home, unless they are found to be in danger of physical harm; however even if they decide her abuse merely constitutes "discipline" (seen it happen before), they WILL keep tabs on her for a period of time and if necessary may come to court of the father's behalf when the hearing to modify the custody agreement is held. Now, hoodoo lady that you are, you may want to take that mundane advice and lay your tricks accordingly.

Really, there are a lot of angles this could be worked from, conjure-wise. This young woman is lucky to have a good father and concerned friend like you trying to help her out.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes for this family,
Michelle
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