Hi everyone! So, I'm not sure if this fits in or not, but I just thought it was really interesting! Ok, so, I bought a ROAD OPENER CANDLE, to be burned at the chapel's alter for myself, as I wanted to use the time until my order arrived to its full, to open my life and generally relieve me of bad luck. I did it yesterday. So, I got my receipt, but no kinda "oh, it's burning now," or "it's up and ready to go," which I wasn't expecting anyway. So, I'm not actually sure the candle was lit when this happened, but I'd definitely taken the time to state my intents and wishes while making my petition, which focused my expectations into eight or nine lines of very BOLD script! So, just went on Facebook to find that a guy I truly liked is moving to Korea. The exact date, I have no clue, but from the looks of things, he's getting the HELL outta dodge in the near future! Now, this guy is truly beautiful, and the crush I had on him was an all encompassing mighty SPLURGE of energy. I'll like him a full two years in March - which is the month he mentioned he'd be leaving. Weird... This guy is .... ugh, I am going to lie on my deathbed, look my true love straight in the eye and say "you're no whats-his-name." Think German, think feminine features, think GOOD GOD! The crush turned my world upside down, and it made each day exciting and hectic, leaving no room for the reasonable thought that this guy was, in fact, straight, and had a girlfriend. These two years have been waking to thoughts of him - just little "I wonder how he's doing," or "if anyone he meets ever reminds him of me" or "if anyone tells him a story I told him once" - and falling asleep to him as well. I just think its weird that I look at his page - even though I do ... often - to find him leaving the country, right after I ask better things to come into my life - namely, a job in Galway City, where he currently lives.
I'm also not going to lie - I had fully intended to work a few tricks on him, to test the waters to see if he was entirely devoted to his sexuality. Nothing cruel, just a little persuasion to look for different things. If doggy collars and myself factored in, I think that's really his own prerogative...
Seeing people wishing him goodbye and organizing his going away party, it was uncomfortable, and I did have a little shortness of breath, but I kinda thought, "Is this it? Am I, like, free now? Has this guy been holding me back?" I confess - I have actually admitted to my friend that I would prefer to spend a night talking to this German guy, than spend a night kissing and,or getting jiggy with any of my other crushes. When I crush, I crush for life, so it seems.
I also had the urge to make my first post on this forum, telling people what had happened, and maybe getting a little feedback. I don't know whether to forget him a little each day, or will him to stay. Its never clear-cut with this guy - he's just too beautiful. TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR KOREA!
Love, Patrick. Who loves a German guy. Mwah.