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Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

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CopperFox
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by CopperFox » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:07 pm

Hello, friends!

Since finding the Lucky Mojo forum and beginning to use their wonderful products, I have been able to really deepen my connections with my ancestral spirits. This is very important for me, as I have very little living family remaining. Some of the techniques I have learned here include setting a glass of water scented with Kananga water on their altar and the avoidance of camphor based products for cleansing purposes. (Camphor is purported to be antagonistic to spiritual beings.)

I would much appreciate learning how others go about connecting and building a good working relationship with their ancestral and other spirits. I am especially curious to hear about the experiences of those of you who may have worked with the Master Key line of products. Also, if there are any of you here who petition St. Clare, I would like to learn more about working with her as well.

Many thanks to all who take the time to share,

Michelle
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Devi Spring » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:11 pm

If you haven't read Martin Coleman's "Communing with the Spirits", grab a copy.

"Secrets of the Magical Grimoires" by Aaron Leicht, while not hoodoo per se, is a facinating read and does refer to the spirit-work practices of the ATRs and related magical traditions. I found it really helpful in understanding conjure and in working with spirits.

The one thing that has REALLY helped me, was figuring out a spirit that could be used to help bring other spirits straight to me for communication. For me this has been St. Michael. Yours may be different. But it's made things SO much easier!

I have some Master Key oil that I got to experiment with, but haven't had a chance to play with it yet. I'd love to hear others experiences with it.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:04 pm

I generally am not a fan of most of Leicht's books, but that one is actually rather good and while I disagree with some of what he says, his book is worth the read.

Coleman really seems to stand out as not only a scholar of Necromancy, but an actual practicing Necromancer and his work comes highly recommended. Along with Mickaharic he has a tendency to be a bit dogmatic and inflexible, but if you take that with a grain of salt it turns out to be a great read.

The best way to build a relationship with your spirits is to make them part of your daily practice. Set aside a period of time each day or week where you light a devotional candle to them, leave offerings, speak to them etc. When you go about setting up an altar for them you'll find that you'll draw some attention just by that act alone. The more you tend to the altar, cleaning the pictures, leaving offerings, lighting candles and speaking to them, the more you'll find their presence manifest itself. I highly recommend working with Althaea as its great for bringing friendly spirits to you. In HHRM, miss cat recommends burning Althaea, Myrrh, Frankincense, Copal, or Benozin to help with making contact with benevolent spirits- maybe burning a bit of this next to a candle or an offering. It's best to start with someone close to you, purchase their graveyard dirt and place it on the altar. Go to the family member you are most drawn to. Build a relationship with this spirit first and you'll find that they will become like a familiar spirit. They will help you establish contacts with other spirits and even bring them to you. It takes time and dedication, but building relationships with such spirits is always an interesting experience.

Devi, that is an interesting point you make. Reminds me of one of the manifestations/purposes of the HGA. There was a theory that the HGA was an extension of St. Michael and on such authority is able to bring forth other spirits and "control" them. Most interesting experience.

I used and use Master Key as part of my spiritual exercises. I perform specific meditations and spiritual excercises daily and I often do this while having a white and purple candle anointed with it burning. I've also used Master Key incense to help with spiritual contact. I tossed in a bith of Frankincense, Myrrh, and Althaea into it. I have yet to use the bath crystals, however. I've used these products in conjunction with Power products.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Turnsteel » Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:21 pm

The simplest way I know of connecting with the spirits is just talking to them. Its easy and so very effective. sit down, light a white or red candle and tell them how your day went, whats happening with the family they left behind them. Bring them your joys and your sorrows.

An ancestral shrine or altar need not be complected to be effective. Mine is a shelf in the living room where we keep their photos, white candles and tokens from their life and a small cross. Its a very Irish way of doing it and it works for me and my family. I know of a worker who keeps her ancestors on top of her refrigerator, another who works them in her laundry room,lol. What really matters is that it makes sense to you.

I do however recommend that in addition to the white candle(s) you burn a red one as well for the ties of blood.

Hope that helps in some way :D
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by GoddessMojo » Sun Feb 21, 2010 1:01 am

Michelle,

I've recently been drawn to work with my ancestors too, and come from a family where this isn't a learned tradition. I admit that I had some special help getting started, recently having a gifted woman (not a reader) share very specific information about one of my (6 years) deceased ancestors who was speaking to her directly about some issues in my life, and after giving me her messages, she encouraged me to develop a relationship with her.

Her advice was to put my ancestor altar in the highest place in my home where we spend the most time, a glass of water for each person I knew of if there was room, plus one for those I don't know, photos if I had them, things they liked; to light a candle to them weekly at minimum, bring them offerings of things they liked in life, and when I made a nice meal to save them the first portion.

The first night I did that I actually sat and ate 'with' them, as everyone else was gone. I felt a tangible sense of gratitude that I had made the effort and we had a very peaceful meal together. Even before that I had been thinking about developing relationships with my ancestors, but had been pretty concerned and confused about putting some family members together due to some pretty serious family wounds, and also about trying to work with people who - while they had loved me- had not been very *loving* with me, and were definitely not supporters of 'magic' of any sort. The answers I've received about that have been a little mixed but mostly, that either I need to work with them to have them understand how to get along on one altar (otherwise I'd need to have about 5 ancestor altars, and I just don't have the space) as a part of helping my own family to heal from it's wounds, and/or that they understand this from their place. Some of my discussion with the lady my grandmother spoke to me through and my further reading has helped me to wrap my mind around the whole concept of developing a relationship with my ancestors by pointing out how your dead ancestors stand to prosper from working with you. Not only do they want to be remembered, and miss the pleasures of the flesh - a bit of alcohol, some tobacco or other enjoyable habit, sex, dancing, laughter, perhaps a hamburger (in my grandmother's case, a coke) - they also may have regrets, have left things unfinished or have work or atonement of their own to do, and by helping you, their blood, they too benefit, as do generations down the line.

They want to see you prosper, besides all that. Despite not coming from a place where we keep photos of the dead about and include them in our day to day lives, this all made sense to me. Especially when I thought about being dead, myself, and how much I would appreciate any member of my family taking the time to light a candle, give me a smoke and a nice chicken dinner, and talk to me a bit. And how little I would care about whether or not my relative were prompted to do this for me out of studying magic- or for me, out of something I don't understand or agree with. This helped me understand how to approach the relationship, at least for myself.

In taking a small bit of my time each week and spending with them, giving them light, water, a bit of soil, and something to eat, I am giving them a 'home' - a place to experience the small things of being in a human body that they miss, and honoring them as individuals, and giving them the tools they need to help me here. Simply remembering them is a giant step and they will notice. Especially if your relationship in life didn't really give you much reason to do this for them, IMHO. The more I do that, the stronger my relationship with them, and the stronger they themselves become. In a short time I have learned this to be true.

As soon as I started putting photos on the fireplace mantle, others began popping into my head, hollering - 'me too!'. Kinda the way your lodestone 'spoke' to you when it helped with the headache. Listen for those impulses. When you pass a certain brand of cookies in the store and think 'Granny loved those' - that's her reminding you - pick some up for her.

The more you listen the more you hear from them. Just today I couldn't finish a task until I went upstairs and found my aunt's coca-cola collectible marble and put it on the mantle - just out of the blue it came to me that she wanted it, and that's why I'd been prompted to pick it up when I cleaned out her house (and I was glad to know cause it's not my taste). Gather the things you have starting with the ancestor who loved you the most, start putting them together, and I am pretty sure they'll tell you what they want. You're attuned enough to hear them.

I started this about three weeks ago and without even asking my ancestors to help me, I have already seen them intervene in matters I've been working on in some pretty drastic ways. It's been a wonderful experience, coming from a protestant background that doesn't address the dead too much or connect with the past at all, really.

Re: Master Key oil - I loooo-oo-oove the stuff. It has really and truly helped me. I use it often to help myself attain a more masterful state of mind in all kinds of situation- not just working with spirits. It clarifies things and helps me to pick out those little spirit whispers better, and I think because it focuses me, spirits are more attracted to working with me when I wear/use it.

I began using it in conjunction with Van Van when my personal life was a real disaster and had put me in a mental state that was just muddled, and it helped me to ground myself and connect with my magical side to get to a point where I could , frankly, get help. And I found it and it found me, within a few months of regular use, through ancestral spirits even though this wasn't my original goal in using either. Both products really helped me to clear out the flotsam and day-to-day crud in my mind that was keeping me from connecting to spirit.

What I REALLY like to use for working with spirits is Spirit Guide Oil. The catalogue states it is used to encourage beneficial spirits to come forward, and I really feel it does. I dress my ancestor altar candles with it, wear a little when I spend time with them, or when I am out and about and feel like I really need their backup. When I use it on candles and spend some time meditating with the candle, I have the sense that it is helping me to draw those ancestors I don't know of closer to me, and my experiences of being 'given pictures' (don't know a better way to describe this) as a way of understanding them and beginning to be able to pick them out individually, increases, when I use it.

Boy, I rambled! I keep re-reading to see what can be edited out for brevity, but no, I want to say all of that. :roll: Hope it helped.
Thank you Saint Martha for hearing my petition and for your ongoing good works for myself and others.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by catherineyronwode » Sun Feb 21, 2010 1:12 am

Thanks for those thoughtful and helpful posts. I'd like to add that some folks like Indian Spirit Guide -- which is an entirely different formula than Spirit Guide, if they are attempting to contact Native American Ancestors.

As for Master Key Oil, that is an old time favourite of mine as well.

One more thing must be said about ALTARS for ancestors: this term is almost never encountered among Black Americans. The term is anthropological -- an outsider's term -- and although it does apply as such in describing formal altars in some African or Afro-Caribbean religions, in hoodoo, which is primarily the folk magic of Black Christians, it would be non-traditional to refer to an ancestor "altar," since such might seem to violate the Commandment to place no God before Jehovah.

This has not stopped people from making such altars, of course -- but they are more often called "a family place" or "the family photos" or a "memory space" or "the mantelpiece."

For example, this array of dime-store photos is an ancestor "altar" in the African-American tradition. Although not called an "altar," and not located on a table-top, it was assembled and used as such.

Image

This image is courtesy of AIRR, The Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers, from the web page "Altar Work and Prayers"

http://www.readersandrootworkers.org/wi ... nd_Prayers
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Literarylioness » Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:21 pm

I know we have had a few posts about ancestral altars, but I would begin with the immediate dead. I would do a service for them with their favorite foods. I do a service for them once a month. I have pictures of my dead grandparents and great-grand parents in a college above my ancestral altar. I use white candles and Holy Water for them. They were predominately Catholic, so I keep heart shaped rosary beads on the their altar.

As you serve them, you will find the ancestors who want to work with you. One of my great helpers is my great-grandfather Max. When I see the name Max anywhere, I know it is great-grandpa letting me know he is on the case. I also have wonderful luck with my French grandmére, who I did not know in life, but is wonderful to me.

I LOVE the Indian Spirit Guide oil and I like the Guardian Angel oil too. I burn a candle dressed with Indian Spirit Guide once a week for my Native American Ancestors and it has been wonderful. It is wonderful if you have native American blood ties.

Mary
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by GoddessMojo » Sun Feb 21, 2010 11:36 pm

Gosh cat if I'd known you were up at that same hour last night I'd have said hi more personally(I should schedule a reading just to give you a complete update-!), thanks so much for the input. I have been thinking about using the Indian Spirit Guide oil, to reach that side of my family. For now, for them I have some items from the plains where I grew up, and where they were from.

I haven't asked any of my ancestors to work with me, although my grandmother had a direct message and desire to help me on her own; and I figure that I will eventually learn who will want to and who won't want to do work with me. I'll simply honor the rest, and their wishes, as I clearly understand now the importance of remembering our ancestors whether they are helping us or not.

Mary, I am wondering, when you do a service for your ancestors, do you light a candle for each person? Or does it differ from service to service? Do you do anything such as lighting a candle for them any more than monthly?

I am very interested in moving on to get to know the less immediate dead, too, however I have so many immediate dead to re-acquaint myself with that it may be some time, and a new altar space, before I can. I'd love to hear more from those who have developed relationships with the more distant dead in your ancestry- people unknown to you other than through your spiritual work. Such as, how did you begin to identify them- or they identify themselves to you?
Thank you Saint Martha for hearing my petition and for your ongoing good works for myself and others.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by HeactesHeart » Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:53 pm

Hello,

It is almost three years that my long time spiritual teacher , former lover and best friend, committed suicide. We were friends for thirty years, lovers for three.

I want to contact his spirit. I have his book, his photo, gifts and letters that he gave to me. I keep plaster cast of his erect penis. I own his favorite walking coat.

I have his most sacred Medicine Shield adored with his Red Tailed Hawk feathers. I have his ashes .

How do I go about making contact with him ?

If and when I do,may I ask him to help with any work that I am doing?
I do not have graveyard dirt but I stored his ashes with mementos of a Autumn hike many years ago. The botanicals we collected have crumbled and have been at the base of his ashes ,can they be used to make contact?

As he was dying, he wrote a farewell letter. He passed away as he was writing to me.

I have never had a love like his before or since. I have never had intimacy so profound with any man since. I miss him more that I can say.

He was my beloved.

Looking for your kind suggestions.

Peace,

C.

P.S. Please PM me if you have any ideas.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by catherineyronwode » Sun Apr 11, 2010 2:00 pm

Although you ask about graveyard dirt, your question is about Spiritualism, mediumship, and contact with the dead, particularly one who has committed suicide. This is, essentially, religious topic that go beyond the reach of a forum where folks can learn about how to use Lucky Mojo spiritual supplies to cast conjure spells.

At the Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers there is some material on Mediumship and contact with the dead here:

http://www.readersandrootworkers.org/in ... Mediumship

Some of the members of AIRR work in this manner, and when you go to that page, you will see their names listed. Click on their names and read about them -- and perhaps one of them can help you.

Other than that, i recommend that you buy and read the book "Communing with the Spirits" by Martin Coleman, or any good book on Spiritualism (the religion) or contact with the dead (the practice itself, without respect to religious ideas).

We also have a more general thread on the ancestral dead in the foru, here:

Ancestors, The Dead, and the Graveyard Questions and Answers
ancestors,-the-dead,-and-the-graveyard- ... 15987.html

Good luck and God bless you.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by HeactesHeart » Sun Apr 11, 2010 2:01 pm

Thank You Miss Cat.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:43 pm

I second Martin Coleman's book. It's a great book from a practicing Necromancer. It is however from a more European-style working, but it compliments Hoodoo spirit-work well.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Tolis » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:30 pm

My father died at 86, some days before, after a short illness. I wonder what I should do: keep some of his personal things? Keep his graveyard dirt at my altar, but when I should do that? I would appreciate any consultant given to me.
Thank you

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:37 am

Im sorry to hear about your loss. I would build a small altar or place where you can remember him. My grandmother did this for my grandfather when he passed away. She has pictures of him, and just some small tokens to remember him by. Building this altar or just a place of remembrance could be whatever you want to put from pictures, personal items, and even graveyard dirt if you would like. I think the important thing is just to celebrate their life, and you can do this as soon as you would like.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by stelselv » Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:31 am

Hello Tolis, sorry about your dad.. It is difficult but time heals... when my father died, i took most of his personal belongings and put them in a gift box and locked it in my drawer, because they was so dear and personal to me.. From time to time i look at them... until today.. My father was a famous jeweller of his time.. I kept alot of pieces of gems which were even older than me (i did not know that they were precious then).. well anyway after i found out about the gems, i made pairs of earings, and rings and pendants out of them.. I choose to celebrate my father life in this way, keeping his memories and honouring them, instead of drowning in the sea of sorrorws.. You will find a way too, be strong. You dad is in a better place now.

it is a believe in my culture that if you are very sad over their passing, their souls will also be very sad and they will not be able to move onto their next level.. So, pray for your dad, light candles... let him know that you are doing fine...

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by suzyparker » Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:56 pm

I think an altar to the deceased is the most wonderful work of all. My entire family is dead (mom, dad, grandmother, twin) and I am more connected with them than I am with most living people (my twin, especially). Graveyard dirt is fabulous, a LM blessing candle or a white candle, white flowers, something that belonged to your dad, light it and send out lots of love and kindness. I find an altar much more therapeutic than anything else. And, I agree with the previous post, as hard as it is to block out sadness, try if you can. Lots and lots of love and warm feelings. As if he were still here. In a sense, he is.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Turnsteel » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:29 pm

Venerating the ancestors is a wonderful thing. However a distinction should be made between the recent dead and the ancestors. I was taught and pass on that you should not work with a spirit of one who has past, be that petitioning them or buying there dirt or burying something at there grave until about three years have passed. This is for two reasons, one the living must go on living, two there death was most likely an emotional shocking event for those they left behind, and it is the same for the person who passed. They are in a whole new place, a new form of being, and they are grieving too, so you should give them time to morn there own death and except that they are no longer alive.

This does not mean that you should not pray for them, if you feel comfortable doing so however.

Just my 2 cents.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Devi Spring » Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:47 pm

I also follow the 3-year rule between working with the recently dead, HD. :)
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:13 pm

While I recognize the wisdom of this paradigm, I for once must disagree. There are certain circumstances when the immediate dead are amazingly helpful and should be worked with rather quickly after their passing. Fresh graves and their dirt play a strong role in conjure.

However, the idea of allowing a period of time for the spirit to adjust is not uncommon and is echoed by such Necromancers as Coleman.

My best recommendation is to do a quick reading and find out what the spirit of your father wants. Nothing wrong with honoring his memory. You can choose whether to move on to veneration and spirit-work with you are ready.

You can also get personal magical coaching from one of the members of AIRR who is versed in helping people set up ancestral work.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Shogun87 » Wed May 26, 2010 3:27 am

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone knew of any plant or herb that would be nice to put on the grave of someone who had just passed. (Something that may bring them peace and protection.) I was also wondering whether or not it would be best to plant a plant on their grave or to sprinkle some of LM herbs over it. I figure that if I sprinkle LM herbs then I could make a mixture which would be helpful, but if I were to plant on the grave then it seems that it would be closer to them. (Note: In Germany it is legal to plant on a family members grave.)

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Miss Bri » Wed May 26, 2010 6:07 am

Any herbs that are used to bring peace and tranquility listed in HHRM would be appropriate for this type of work as would Lucky Mojo's Peaceful Home Herb Mix:
http://www.herb-magic.com/peaceful-home-herb-mix.html
http://www.luckymojo.com/hoodooherbmagic.html

Good luck,
Bri
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Shogun87 » Wed May 26, 2010 2:19 pm

Thanks so much for the help!

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Wed May 26, 2010 3:14 pm

Throw in some Acacia and Althaea to whatever mix you end up going with. Both of those herbs are great for spirit work and make wonderful additions for ancestor and graveyard work.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by GIFTEDHANDS » Fri May 28, 2010 3:53 am

Hi Everyone,

I have a small ancestors altar that has a photo, candles, religous statues and graveyard dirt of my grandmother, a bowl for offerings, a glass of water & a vase for flowers. I have burned mint & frankinsense but i dont feel i have had much sucess with it. Iinitially when i first set it up i feel like I started Dreaming more but then that changed!

so i have stopped lighting the candles & praying there. i expected more I quess like clearer dreams or visions to start to develop more guidence i quess. I have always been told this is a gift i have & i was tring to develop it if that makes sense????

Any advise on what to do? I asked this before but didnt get much response.
Thanks :?:

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Devi Spring » Fri May 28, 2010 6:23 am

Sometimes it takes several months or more for ancestors to start being present at the altar in a noticeable way. I would take up the work again, and use Spirit Guide oil and incense at the altar when you work there. Don't expect them to manifest in one way or another - such as looking for dreams. Just work with the attitude that you are honoring them for the sake of honoring them... not because you are expecting anything in return. If you take that attitude, you may be surprised at the results.

Also there are some people who work with their ancestors that rarely, if ever, have a real physical sense of them. The ancestral protection and guidance works strongly for them, but in a very "behind the scenes" kind of way. They know the ancestors are there, because when they do need to petition them, the petition is granted. However they're not receiving messages in a literal sense from them.

So just honor them, and then allow whatever grows to grow.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Fri May 28, 2010 1:58 pm

I'm with Devi on this. You can build an ancestral altar but it may not result in palpable results right away. Instead their influence may be more subtle. I wouldn't give into despair, instead remain constant in your devotions and your offerings. This steadfast faith will manifest itself in a strong relationship and bond.

In Martin Coleman's book where he outlines how to begin a working practice of Necromany he indicates it may take anywhere from 2-3 years before you can start really getting the effects you want with an ancestral altar. Now I don't think it always takes this long, but it does take a good deal of time.

Spend several months expecting nothing from them and instead welcome them into your home. Welcome them into your life. Over time slow ask them to communicate with you, slowly ask them to give you dreams etc. Then record your experiences. After a period of time honoring them see if you can include them in your next magical undertaking. Take your work and place it on their altar and see if they'll lend their hand to it.

In addition to these practical steps include a bit of Acacia, Althaea, Copal, Frankinsence, Myrrh, and Angelica on your altar to help with building that relationship. Work with Spirit Guide Oil, leave out their favorite foods etc.

Good luck.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by theredc6 » Fri May 28, 2010 3:55 pm

Did you pray for contact? Answers? Is there a specific person you wanted to communicate with?

When you pray at your ancestor altar, be sure to sit in silence for a while (15-30 minutes) to receive a response. In this silent time, try not to focus on anything in particular. Over time, thoughts and visions may come. Do not fight them.

If you do not receive a response the first time, just be consistent in trying to communicate with them.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Shogun87 » Mon May 31, 2010 12:15 am

Thanks for the advice!

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by J Simulcik » Mon May 31, 2010 1:05 pm

Is this a family member? If you do decide to plant one of these plants, that would also be a good time to collect some graveyard dirt if you have/want to start an ancestors' altar.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by phoenixrising » Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:22 pm

Hi all,

My aunt (who was like an older sister to me) passed away in June suddenly and unexpectedly. She has really been on my mind a lot lately. Her birthdday is coming up on September 4th and I would like to do something to honor her. I've never done any ancestor or spirit work and I don't really know if that would be my cup of tea. Is it possible to just have a simple little ritual to remember various family members who have passed away on their date of death and birthday without becoming more heavily involved in ongoing ancestor/spirit work?

For my aunt, I was thinking of lighting a white candle dressed with 7-11 holy oil and perhaps some LM Blessing sachet powder, burning incense (frankincense & myrrh, or blessing), getting flowers in her favorite color, praying, reading scriptures and just remembering her and some of the good times we had growing up and as adults. I have some angel figurines that belonged to her that I've put where I burn my candles. I also have her bible and a couple of trinkets that belonged to her such as bracelets. At the funeral home, I was standing next to her praying and talking to her (silently) and it's almost like I could hear her (mentally) respond to what I was saying.

Is the "birthday celebration" I've outlined above appropriate? Also any other suggestions would be appreciated (including other oil or incense suggestions, scripture suggestions, etc.).

Thanks for your input!

Phoenixrising

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Flamethrower » Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:42 pm

What you've suggested is perfect - you already have a bond with this person, so you know what she liked when she was alive. Who better than you to know what is appropriate to celebrate your aunt's b-day? :)

To celebrate a deceased relative's b-day or a particular holiday, I'll say a prayer, light a small white candle (sometimes anointed with or without Blessing oil) and set either a glass of water or liquor (depends on the relative - one uncle loved PBR beer! and an aunt enjoyed sweet wines) in their honor on my altar.

Hope this helps.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Miss Tammie Lee » Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:46 pm

This sounds beautiful. Go with what is in your heart. You will be able to see without the lights on. It is wonderful that you wish to honor her. September 4 will probably be an emotional day, you might feel deep sorrow, with release and then hopefully peace. Transition.
Very beautiful.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Mon Aug 30, 2010 10:28 pm

It definately sounds lovely :-)
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by MissMichaele » Mon Aug 30, 2010 11:51 pm

That sounds like an absolutely wonderful way to be with your aunt on her birthday.

A few more little suggestions to consider:
  • Include her favorite music (something you both like)
  • Small servings of her favorite foods (and some for you, perhaps)
  • Try putting on one of those bracelets -- to get as close to her as possible -- and see if she approves. If not, of course, you can take it off.
I have a similar celebration for the birthday of Bayard Rustin each year; a little vegetarian feast, a drink, and singing "Happy Birthday."
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by phoenixrising » Tue Aug 31, 2010 4:58 pm

Thank you all for your comments. I'm really looking forward to this.

@Triplethreat, yes it will definitely be an emotional day. She's been on my mind so much lately and sometimes I still can't believe she's gone. Just the other day, I almost picked up the phone to call her. There was an expression that she used to say all the time. If we were talking and she agreed with what I was saying she would say "I know that's right!". Before she passed, I never really heard anyone use that expression except her. Now I hear people that I'm passing in the street say it all the time to whoever it is that they're talking to. In fact, I was talking to one of my co-workers about my aunt right after I had returned to work and I said something and all of a sudden, he comes out and says "I know that's right!" I have never heard this person make that remark before and the fact that he made it in a conversation about her says to me that her spirit is around me very strongly. Whenever I hear someone say those word, it grabs my attention and it makes me think of her because she used to say it so much.

@MissMichaele, I was thinking about it earlier today and had to decided that I would play some gospel music. She loved gospel music and so do I. So I will definitely have some playing. I also like the idea of making something for her to "eat". Her and my mom are sisters and she loved my mom's 7-up pound cake. So maybe I'll see if I can get my mom to make one. In fact, she made her one last year for her birthday and express mailed it to her and she was so happy to receive it. The only thing is I can't tell my mom what I'm doing because my family isn't very hoodoo/spirit-friendly. Neither was my aunt, but I feel her around me so strongly, I don't think she would have a problem with what I'm doing to honor her at all. I think that being that she died so suddenly and unexpectedly, she'll be glad that someone in the family is reaching out to her.

Miss Michaele, you succested that I put on one of the bracelets and she would let me know if she liked me wearing it or not. How would I know if she liked the me wearing the bracelet or not? Would I just ask her intuitively sense whether or not she approved?

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Miss Tammie Lee » Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:22 pm

You are "tuned in". I know you understand what I am telling you.

This is a common phrase; (the cute one used by her :)) The spirts have very special giving incredible ways of leting us know they are with us.

This is the best way I can open wide with my heart and all to you... GOD works through people places and things. The Spirit of my Grandfather is present and just this evening, I was in the family home... my son heard him in the kitchen. I had just finished some work in the family home. I felt his presense and called upon his spirit to guide me. She will (is)contact (ing) you and your heightened senses are aware of her presense. This is a good thing! The emotion is just a part of us missing the person in the natural relam. I was an emotional basket case on Sunday, BUT I had A PEACE UNLIKE NO OTHER WHEN I LEFT THE CEMETERY. Yes, I miss him. It was my first visit to his grave. I did not live right near here when he passed away. Excuse Excuse (for me not you) just one day I knew, even though I can feel him -- until this past Sunday, I did not want to feel the pain of the grave site. The pain only lasts for a bit. The peace that comes and follows is well embraced, loved and honored beyond anything I can type to you.

She is making contact. You feel her. Embrace it as I know that you are. We are all here for you.

Most Sincerely,

---Triplethreat
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by MissMichaele » Wed Sep 01, 2010 10:18 am

Phoenixrising,
Miss Michaele, you succested that I put on one of the bracelets and she would let me know if she liked me wearing it or not. How would I know if she liked the me wearing the bracelet or not? Would I just ask her intuitively sense whether or not she approved?
Yes, intuition is pretty much what I meant. If you put on that bracelet and it just doesn't feel right, you'll know to take it off. Or if you get a sudden jolt of gladness, you'll know your aunt is happy to see you wear it.

And getting your mom to make that cake? "Mama, I miss Auntie so much, and her birthday's getting near -- I just gotta have some of that 7-up pound cake. Mama, can't you just taste it?"

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by phoenixrising » Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:07 am

Hi All,

I want to thank everyone who responded to this thread and Lucky Mojo and the forum in general.

Yesterday, I celebrated my aunt's birthday and it was wonderful! I gave her a glass of water with a splash of florida water, a white candle dressed with 7-11 holy oil (I think she really liked it..she was really big on "blessed" oil) and Blessing sachet powder, I burned frankincense and myrrh with a touch of benzoin, and I got a beautiful bouquet of red roses with various other flowers and plant accessories thrown in to make it even prettier. I played Gospel mucic (which we both love), we had cake and I talked to her as though she was sitting right next to me. I thought I would've felt awkward or uncomfortable talking to her out loud as though she was physically there, but it felt completely natural.

As Miss Michaele suggested, I wore her bracelet and as well as her necklace and it felt really good having them on and I felt that she approved. It made me feel good knowing that she had also worn them and it made me feel closer to her. It felt so good I didn't want to take them off.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience. I'm definitely going to make this a regular practice for other family members who have passed away. I'm so grateful to this board because I might not have thought about doing this if it wasn't for all of the things I've learned in this forum!

Phoenixrising

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by MissMichaele » Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:41 pm

Thank you so much for posting this account. I believe I owe my mother several birthday parties since she passed. I'll have to start catching up next year :)
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Transformer » Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:33 pm

Hi, I'm working a reconciliation case. I've been to the graveyard over the past couple months for a variety of reasons including collecting dirt for love spells, break-up spells or crossing spells or to bury spell remains.

I enter the graveyard, I announce my intent, and ask if a spirit is willing to assist me in whatever task I am accomplishing that day. I then clear my mind and ask to be lead to the spot where I should collect dirt or bury my remains. I've done this seven times so far and each and every of the seven times, I was led to a tombstone with my ex's surname on it.

Has anyone had this sort of experience? Any idea what they are trying to tell me? I was hoping that maybe someone had come across something like this in the past. thank you.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:08 pm

If you're not being led to the exact same grave then maybe you're getting a sign.

Graveyard work really should be done by those who have some ability to communicate with spirits. If you are such a person then speak to the spirit you are being led to and ask it about its name.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Transformer » Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:09 pm

It was a different site every time.

I can't say I have that skill but I must have something if I could be led like that every time. I don't really know how, and I am going to research it a bit, but I'm going to try to communicate the next time I am there. good suggestion. thanks.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Transformer » Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:19 am

Conjureman Ali, I went back to the graveyard to bury some other remains and while there I tried to do as you suggested. I sat on some steps to relax and concentrate but I couldn't because something kept nagging at me to sit on the other side of the steps. So I got up to move to the other side but I couldn't sit there because there in the ground was, again, a tombstone with my ex's surname.

I sat again and tried to concentrate but nothing. As I was about to give up, a thought flashed in my mind that my mojo bag arrived in the mail but my mother opened the package and went through it (not good for the mojo.) An hour later, mom calls to say exactly that. (I don't live at home. She thought she was doing me a favor.)

I only get this spirit's vibe in the graveyard but I am moving far away from this place and won't be back. Is there a way I can take this advisor with me? or would it even be wise to try to do so? thanks

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:02 pm

If you ever find a spirit that is willing to help you then you can purchase its graveyard dirt an include it in future spells. Tell the spirit your intent and listen to your impressions.

What you are feeling and experiencing is communication on some level. Go with it.

You might consider working with Master Key and Psychic Vision products to highten your abilities and unlock this latent skill you may have.

Spirit products can also be used to help commune with the spirit. Try lighting a white candle with the three oils then go to the graveyard and see what you pick up.

Good luck!
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by LynneTyson » Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:48 pm

My sons father in law is dying, he has advanced cancer in every organ except his brain.
He is on morphine, and has refused all treatment, he is in a comatose state now and has signed DNR papers etc. I am burning a blessing candle(Herbs,oils etc.), with a petition paper under it that he will pass quickly and painlessly. Is there anything else that I can do?
Thank you

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by catherineyronwode » Sat Dec 18, 2010 12:18 pm

I think that what you are doing is both sufficient and very well-intentioned. If he has loved ones on the other side, you might call them to him, as well, if they are not already by his side.

If you were Catholic, you would wish to burn a Saint Joseph candle, as his help is receommened in petitions of a painless and blessed passing.

My condolences to you and the family.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by l_espoir » Sat Dec 18, 2010 1:36 pm

It's tradition in my family that if someone is at that point, the family prays (separately) before bed that they pass on. Just a simple prayer with a lot of love and good intentions behind it. Afterwards, they generally pass in about 3 days.

Good luck and my sympathies. <3

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Mama Micki » Sat Dec 18, 2010 4:44 pm

A Guardian Angel candle or a white candle dressed with Guardian Angel oil would also be appropriate. Angels can be petitioned by a person of any faith.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Miss Tammie Lee » Sat Dec 18, 2010 5:45 pm

This is a very difficult time of the year for someone to pass away. I wish for You and your Son and his Wife and The Family, strength. I agree with what has been written by you and all previous posts.
I prayed for the same thing. (for The Good Man who raised me)
Condolences to to you and your Family at this time.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by LynneTyson » Sat Dec 18, 2010 5:54 pm

Thank you all for your replies. I found out today that he passed at almost the exact time that I was lighting the candle for him.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by DieFaust » Mon Feb 28, 2011 12:37 am

A dear friend of mine has recently passed, the circumstances without getting into too much detail were very bad and I have been told that he is most likely a restless spirit. is there anything that i can do to help him?
or at the very least ease him?

Also i would like to do something that would honor him and our friendship, is there something that is traditionally done?

thank you.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Mon Feb 28, 2011 12:51 am

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I would get a white candle, and dress it with blessing oil. And speak from the heart about your friend and ask that his soul be laid to rest, and that you would like him to find peace on the otherside.

I would perhaps create an altar to him, and include pictures of you and him, favorite candle, drink, colors, etc. Perhaps once hes buried you can get some of his graveyard dirt, and you can put that on your altar. Once a week perhaps Sunday, or a day that you associate him with you can leave him treats and speak with him. However you can speak with him whenever you like of course.

I am very sorry to hear about this, and I would like to hear of what others have to say.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
Thank u St. Elena! I appreciate your great help.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by suzyparker » Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:09 am

Excellent advice, Stars. I think it's always helpful to help anyone with the transition; but particularly a person who took their own life. Lots of stuff going on there. I would also do an altar for my friend. photo of him, a bowl of water, graveyard dirt (or another personal effect of his), a white candle (dress it with Blessing oil - or even Peace Water) and lots and lots of prayer and conversing with your friend. Tell him you love and care about him and that he is in a safe place, etc. Good luck and it's wonderful to see you care so much about your friend. Many people tend to wash their hands of those who are gone (especially if they go under less than perfect circumstances) and that is just wrong.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by ConjureMan » Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:49 am

Lovely suggestions and building an altar is a great idea. However, I would not recommend gathering graveyard dirt from a suicide victim, murder victim, or other person whose death was charged, at least not yet. As worker I deal with spirits quite a bit and in addition to exorcisms I am also frequently called to put spirits to rest. I have found that these spirits are extremely confused and lost when I speak to them and it usually revolves around not understanding what is going on. Given this, while gathering graveyard dirt is well-intentioned in this case it actually may cause some difficulties.

First these spirits are in a raw emotional state and bringing the graveyard dirt home can track that confusion and chaos into your home.

Second, you want to help the spirit get acclimated with its *current* state. This means to help it find rest in its grave. We see various traditions of doing this still practiced today.

This is usually done by washing down the tombstone with holy water, or water sprinkled with a dash of 711 Holy Oil or Florida Water. This cools the spirit and allows them to rest.

Other acts revolve around leaving mementos and other items like favorite drinks, possessions, flowers, etc at the grave to help make the spirit at home.

If you've ever traveled in the south and visited a graveyard you'll find people's tombstones packed with little toys, items of clothing, flowers, candles, pictures, religious items and other things aimed at helping the spirit adjust.

So, my advice would be to first help the spirit get adjusted to its new existence. Set up an altar, light candles, work with 711 Holy Oil and Blessing Oil and once your friend is buried help make him or her feel at ease in their new home by working with the grave directly and not to gather any dirt until things have settled.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by Devi Spring » Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:54 am

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, and of the troubled life your friend led. It's lovely that you wish to aid them now that they have passed.

I was taught that spirits should be given a period of time to become acclimated to their new state before attempting to work with them through graveyard dirt, etc. In fact, I was actually instructed not to speak directly to the spirit during that period - you can pray FOR them, and pray for blessings and comfort for them, peace for their spirit, etc - but talking directly to them can cause them to difficulties in getting settled in the spirit world. (Others may feel differently on that point - and obviously, it's not referring to when those with the gift of communicating with spirits speak with one to help it move on.)

I think making an altar to honor them, and in order to pray for them is a fantastic suggestion. There are many wonderful prayers for the dead that you can find online and pray daily for your friend. You can burn Tranquility and Blessing and Healing candles for them, in order to help calm the troubled spirit and help them find rest. Keeping their grave tended with gifts on it during this time will also help honor them and show your love for them, without including confusing elements that may cause them to cling unhealthily to the living, when they need to adjust to the spirit world.

{EDIT: Beaten to the punch by some fantastic advice by ConjureMan Ali!! :) }
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by starsinthesky7 » Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:02 am

Bring back the graveyard dirt in this case makes complete sense in this case. Thanks for clarifying conjureman Ali. I hope that you are able to find comfort at this time, and set a light for the family as well to help pray for them at this difficult time.
Thank u St. Martha for everything you have done on my behalf.
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by artemis » Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:06 am

I am in agreement with much of what was posted. To cite personal experience, my sister suicided as a teen. I went to the cemetery almost every day for the few months before I left town for school and took her flowers and other gifts on a regular basis. Her friends also tended to her grave on an almost daily basis and left her many, many tokens of their love and esteem for her which was both comforting to my family, and certainly for her.

Talk to your friend. Tell him how you feel. I would say prayer, daily prayer is most important here, so that your friend's spirit is moved in the right direction. I could feel my sister suffering for some time after her death, but one day, all of a sudden, I realized she had moved on. I don't doubt for a moment it was the extreme outpouring of love, support and care that was expressed by friends and family that helped her to move in a relatively quickly way.

I am truly sorry to hear this for you. It is one of, if not the most, devastating events one can ever experience. Peace to you and your friend's family.

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DieFaust
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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by DieFaust » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:02 pm

thank you everyone, the support and advice from community members has made this ordeal easier for me and hopefully for the spirit of my friend.

from the bottom of my heart I thank all of you

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by suzyparker » Mon Feb 28, 2011 4:27 pm

Conjure Man Ali is correct about the graveyard dirt. I use it to commune with someone who has been dead for a very long time. Probably the last thing your friend needs at this time is to be confused about the latest part of his journey. I also love the idea of taking things he liked to his grave to acclimate him to this new path. Excellent. You sound like a wonderful friend and remember also be kind to yourself during this time. There's no good way or good circumstance to lose someone you care about, but suicide is always hard on those left behind too. Maybe use some healing and/or tranquility oil on yourself. I have used LM's products for emotional turbulence and they never fail to comfort and ease the hurt. Please keep us posted.

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Re: Graveyard, Ancestors, Mediumship, Dying, Death, The Dead

Unread post by DieFaust » Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:58 am

Just giving any interested parties an update, I've been lighting candles for him every night and praying for him, speaking to him and just trying to move on as well
It has been hard saying goodbye to him but i think overall what i have been able to do has worked. We finally had a memorial for him yesterday and i got a chance to speak with his parents and we're finally getting closure.

Once again i want to thank everyone for helping me, I know i don't post much on this forum but the fews times i have i've always been impressed by the solidarity within this community as well as the quality of people you have here.
Thanks again

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