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by catherineyronwode » Tue Nov 04, 2025 9:28 am
In another part of the Forum, AxeMom wrote:,
"I have a question. My son’s 1 year anniversary is approaching on thanksgiving and I would like to perform the first annual ceremony. He transitioned last November due to suicide. Can you point me in the direction of which links to study to prepare? Thank you in advance and I’m humbly grateful for your reply."
This is not a question that should receive only one reply, AxeMom,
You see, different social, religious, and spiritual cultures have different ways to commemorate the anniversary of a passing, so there is not just one path i could point you to. In some cultures all grave visits are memorialized on one day for the whole of society (for example Tomb Sweeping Day and the Hungry Ghost Festival in Taoism, Memorial Day in Protestant America, and The Day of the Dead in Catholic-Indigenous-Latino nations). In other cultures each family keeps its own calendars of visitation (for instance the Yarzheit in Jewish culture, or family customs of visiting the grave on birthdays, wedding anniversaries, the death anniversary, and religious or cultural holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter). There are special days of remembrance for military veterans in some nations, and different ways of commemorating those days (red crepe paper poppies in Britain for Remembrance Day, miniature American flags in the United States for Veterans' Day).
In some cultures offerings such as flowers, foods, flags, ribbons, incense, candles, coins, pebbles, photos of newly born family members, or personal gifts are made at the grave; in other cultures the vegetation around the graves is carefully trimmed or swept clean; some people visit the grave to make mediumistic spirit contact with the dead, others take young family members to the grave to tell them the story of the dead person's life, so that he or she will not be forgotten.
The study of what are called "deathways" is an important part of cultural anthropology -- and in the end, you will find your way through the varieties of dealing with loss and honouring the dead.
If you scroll up, you will find quite a few links to text and video sites where more detailed information is given, often with photos.
I hope this helps.
catherine yronwode
teacher - author - LMCCo owner - HP and AIRR member - MISC pastor - forum admin