Hello forgiveness,
I'm so sorry to see you in such despair. You've been on my mind and I know you're having a difficult time right now.
The readings you received on the radio show a few weeks ago all indicated that this is not the right man for you. You will just continue to torment yourself by pursuing him. When you do the volume of work you've done on him and he still won't return, then it's time to accept that God's answer is no, because something better is intended for you. I know it's hard to hear but it's very important to understand.
What you've said before is that you wanted him to forgive you and come back. I think the bigger issue here is the forgiveness part (hence the forum name you've chosen). You want to be forgiven. Him returning to you would be a sign of that, which is why you've worked so hard for it to happen. But you're forgetting that the means of forgiveness are in your own hands - you need to come to a place where you can forgive
yourself. Only then you will be able to move on with a renewed spirit and belief that you deserve great love, respect and happiness because you deserve all of that.
The recommendation of Cut & Clear is a good one, so you can free yourself of the emotional attachment that is keeping you bound in such misery. Please consider that an important first step, as hard as it will be. Use the link that JayDee provided and it will help you to feel better.
Then I would work with Tranquility and Healing products for yourself, to calm your heart and help you be more gentle with yourself. The bath salts are a good idea, as are the oils to anoint yourself daily. They will help to lift your spirit and bring you peace.
http://www.luckymojo.com/products-tranquility.html
http://www.luckymojo.com/healing.html
I do hope you will take the advice that Miss cat gave you on the radio and consult a mental health professional, who can help you handle your feelings in a more constructive manner for your serene and greatest good. Please do that if you have not already done so.
You can also send a prayer request to the Crystal Silence League, where people all around the world will pray for you. It is a free and wonderful service.
http://crystalsilenceleague.org/prayerrequests.html
I will keep you in my own prayers as well. I really hope you will take the advice from us here and the radio show, as it is offered with love and our highest hopes for your emotional well being. Please take care of yourself.