I am seeking advice in regards to my mother's in law behaviour towards my baby daughter.
My MIL is acting really obssesed with my little girl when she's visiting us, grabbing her at every chance, not wanting to let go even when I need to feed her.
She's grabbing a pushchair from me, offering to hold her for me while I am eating my meal, so I can "rest"! Like she's desperate, it drives me mad. I said no several times but she's very persistent and clever in her ways to put me in position I feel uncomfortable saying no. And she was visibly upset when I denied it couple of times, although within reason, the baby was tired and all she wants to do is to hold her all the time, like it's a toy.
Whenever we go to visit them, she just jumps to the stroller right away and starts fussing over the baby without even saying hi to us for like five minutes, just weird!
My husband thinks it's fine, she's just excited as it's a grandchild much anticipated. I get it, my little one is lucky to have grandparents that love her but that kind of smothering is too much for me and makes me feel super uncomfortable.
Thing is, I find it hard to tell things to them because my MIL has cancer and my in laws helped us a lot and still helping financially, so I feel really bad saying no but inside I am screaming.
I can also sense that because MIL is sick with long term cancer and depressed, it might be her unintentional way to charge herself, leeching on energy from a baby. The way she acts is over the top, it bothers me so much. Also, I don't feel the same way about my father or sister in law, its just her, I find it very weird. Otherwise she is very kind, generous person, a bit too sweet in her behaviour for my liking but on the surface can't fault her with anything really and she treats me well, its only in regards to my daughter.
My hubby thinks I'm overreacting, but because it's his mum he can't see or doesn't want to see things for how they are. I understand that it's hard and he feels sorry for her.
Maybe I am overreacting to certain extent but just can't help the way I feel. Please advice and tell what do you think. I need and outside perspective on this, please!
I now dread the next visit and they already coming this weekend
Will be looking forward to any suggestions.
Thank you!